


Lullaby (Sleeping at Last)

by Kabieee



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Deutsch | German, Friends to Lovers, Gaming, Heartache, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Movie Reference, Mutual Pining, Online Friendship, Pets, Pining, Sex Toys, Strip Tease, mentioned animal death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21619675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabieee/pseuds/Kabieee
Summary: Seven years later, their time and friendship together had seen the two of them through almost every kind of obstacle life could throw at them. From family problems to shitty jobs, fights with their in-person friends to mopey hangovers spent talking quietly through Discord. Sylvain had helped Felix through the death of his brother, and Felix had listened to Sylvain cry softly into the phone when he called him after his older brother threatened his life. They were, in every way possible, each other’s best and closest friend despite the ocean separating them.And after all this time, Sylvain was single…
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro, Dorothea Arnault/Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Sylvain Jose Gautier & Dedue Molinaro, felix hugo fraldarius / sylvain jose gautier
Comments: 53
Kudos: 119





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, here we go yall! Echo and I have put so much work and love into this fic and I'm very proud to post the first part!! This is going to be extremely self indulgent, extremely soft and tender friends to lovers and I CANNOT wait to write this. the title is based on the artist (ryan o'neal), because echo recently introduced me to his music and i LOVE him!
> 
> This story means a lot to me because this fandom has blessed me with... so many close friends and people I love but a lot of them are far away ;w; thankfully I do have twitter and AO3 and other places where we can be friends even if I'm not right at your side. This is for each and every one of YOU, and for any online friend you desperately wish you could meet and hang out with in person. just remember those that you love are never more than a message or dm away, so tell you friends you love them today!! i know it'll make them happy, if not happier than they make you <3
> 
> please enjoy!  
> (oh yes, there is a fair bit of German dialogue in this because Echo is from Germany! I did my best to naturally translate what is said ((echo lovingly translated my words first!)) but i'd suggest google translate or smthn if you want a literal translation! <3)

Felix Fraldarius stretched his arms and legs and gently cracked his neck, the weight of the day starting to take its toll. Three owner surrenders had come through in the last hour of his shift alone, and he currently had three meowing cats in carriers in his office. He had just finished their paperwork, it time to get them comfy in kennels in the intake room.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Judging by the day he had, he only expected more bad news. When the screen illuminated to show a message from _him_ , his smile nearly ripped his face in half. He nearly messed up his unlock pattern scrambling to open his messages, bouncing excitedly in his chair.

_I got the game! We need to play as soon as ur home (im off today fucc the police). GEDDON IT_

Felix snorted and quickly typed back a message.

_but isn’t chara creation going to take 2 hrs…_

_fuck. pour one out fam._

Felix pocketed his phone and attempted to not rush through the last thirty minutes of his shift, taking care to make the newly orphaned cats comfortable in their kennels. Only one was afraid, but it had nearly taken a piece of the skin on his face with her claw as he put her away. He cooed at her knowingly and pressed a few extra treats in through the bars of the cage.

He texted his friend all during the train ride home, having to control his laughter at the onslaught of memes he was sending him about the game neither had played yet. It appeared that this one was going to be a bust despite the excellent character creator, but Felix didn’t care. Sylvain had been talking about it nonstop for the last six weeks, so he was anxious to finally be able to play with him.

Felix looked at his watch, imagining the other just rolling out of bed despite it being eleven in the morning where he was. With a blush he secretly hoped he’d get a facetime call, slightly tempted to just initiate one for once now that he was on the train. As he saw three little dots indicating that Sylvain was typing a message, he took a deep breath and hit the button on his smartphone.

Nearly instantly, Sylvain picked up the call and was smiling widely. “You’re off work, nice! This is such a great surprise, man.”

After all their years of friendship, Felix had perfected his neutral expression when talking face-to-face with Sylvain, whether that be on their phones or webcams while they gamed together. It came in handy a _lot_ , since his long-distance best friend rarely liked to wear shirts when he was home. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but Felix had been hiding a crush on his best friend for a least three years.

Felix expertly hid his excitement, dishing out his best friendly smile with a little wave at the camera. Internally, he was squirming at his friend’s strong pecs and stomach muscles, imagining himself just licking them and having to stifle a laugh.

Felix watched him moving to a quieter room in his apartment, keeping an eye out for his cute dog as he walked. He struggled to think up the proper way to phrase his thoughts without sounding silly. He knew English well enough when he read it, but speaking it always made him feel like he was wrought with mistakes.

Being friends with Sylvain for so long had actually improved him though, no matter how hard he was on himself with syntax and accuracy.

“It was a rough day. The shelter got fives cats all together. Oh… wait. _Five_ cats,” he chuckled, blushing sat his hiccup.

Sylvain physically reacted; his mouth covered by the back of his hand as he closed his eyes in glee. “No. You’re perfect. Your accent is lovely and you don’t have to correct yourself! Even after all this time I still love hearing it.”

Felix let himself squirm, smiling foolishly as his gaze darted away from the camera. He knew Sylvain meant it in a friendly way but hearing him say the words the way he did made his heart flutter.

“I want to perfect my talking so I can sound good for you!”

“You! Already sound amazing! We need to facetime more often,” Sylvain said happily, settling down at his computer desk. Felix nodded in excitement, focusing back on his best friend. They talked for the rest of Felix’s train ride home, all the way up until he was in his own apartment at his own computer desk.

“Let me log in,” he smiled, waving at his camera. Sylvain replied with a drawn out “byyyyyeeeeeeee”, talking into his desk microphone once they hung up to continue it in their Discord window. “You are so silly, Sylvain!”

“Is your game downloaded?” Sylvain pulled his headset over his hair. His voice was amplified with the superior microphone, a lovely tune to Felix’s ears. He set up his own and opened him the video chat channel.

“Yes, for fucking once. I am surprised my computer did not come up with a stupid excuse as to why it couldn’t…”

They played in the character creator of their new game for hours, breaking only to use the restroom and get food from their doors when it was delivered to them. They discussed Felix’s crummy day at work, complained about the distance and six hour difference between them, and how bitterly cold it had gotten in both of their cities. Felix cooed over Sylvain’s giant dog when she joined him in his room, begging his friend to pick her up so he could see her better.

“Mama, it’s Felix! He wants to see you!” Sylvain stood up from his chair and gently lifted her paws up to his desktop, smiling up at the webcam and pointing at it to get her attention. The 110 pound mutt wagged her tail happily and let her blue tongue roll out of the side of her mouth, not hyper aware of what a ‘Felix’ was but happy to hear two sets of voices happily talking to her. When she saw Felix waving, she woofed happily, making Felix hold his cheeks in joy.

She bounded off back into the apartment, returning with a toy in her mouth and laying down at Sylvain’s feet.

“I love her. So much, Sylvain,” Felix said woefully, lamenting their distance even more whenever he thought of Mama. It had been he who had convinced Sylvain to go to a shelter to get a dog instead of a breeder five years ago, so he felt a special connection to her despite having never met either of them in person.

“She loves you too. And so do I. That’s why…” He sat back down and returned his mouse to his character, which he was streaming over Skype for Felix to see. With a click of his cursor he changed his hair to be dark navy, which brought a wide smile to his face and a yelp of joy out of Felix. “Bam! It’s vampire killer Felix!”

“Sylvain, I made mine look like you—” Felix shot him over a screenshot of his game and they shared a bellowing laugh over their headsets. When Felix glanced down at the clock, he pouted and sighed. “It is now after midnight here…”

Sylvain quickly quieted, glancing up at his webcam with a heartbreaking look on his face. “One day soon, we _have_ to finally meet up and spend time together in person. We need a week minimum,” he said with a sad smile, saving his progress and exiting out of the game.

“Yes… I agree. Are you not going to play anymore?”

“No, I want to wait for you! Thankfully it’s Friday now! Well… it’s Friday where you are,” Sylvain chuckled. “And we can play all weekend! I don’t mind waiting for you at all.”

Felix’s stomach fluttered in sad happiness, nodding at Sylvain over the video chat. He too saved his game and closed out of everything, drawing it out as much as he could before he had to say goodnight.

“We can chat tomorrow too if things are slow! Shouldn’t have much going on at work anyway.” Sylvain sat back in his computer chair, spinning around lazily as he focused fully on his webcam now. “And even if I do, I’d much rather talk to you anyway,” he said with a silly smile and wink. Felix snickered and hovered his cursor over the exit button on Discord, head tilting slightly as he fought the desire to tell Sylvain he loved him before logging off.

It was the same routine every time they spoke. They talked every day for at least a few hours at a time over voice chat unless they had pressing matters that made them unable to sit down. If they couldn’t communicate that way, they constantly chatted on their social media messenger.

They had met online when Felix was only 2 years out from graduating high school; Sylvain had just finished and was packing for college in between playing video games and dicking around on the internet. Felix had direct messaged Sylvain in a fit of rage after he had killed his character, cursing him out with every single insult in English he knew at the time. He had attempted to block and report him but friend requested him instead. 

After that, they were inseparable. Their time difference made it difficult to talk regularly. Felix would often stay up far too late just to talk to him. When Sylvain had found out, he’d yelled at him in the most caring way he could and instead insisted he wake up earlier so they’d have time to talk before he had to go to class. Weekends were their primetime, and they seldom found themselves not communicating in one way or another.

Felix’s feelings for Sylvain hadn’t developed until they were both finished with their higher education. He’d seen his friend go through girlfriend after girlfriend, never really minding them. But the friendlier Sylvain got, the more times he admitted he’d rather stay home and play games with Felix than go out with one of them, his heart had begun to shift. It hurt whenever the other would move on to another girl, but the distance between them made Felix hesitate to confess.

Seven years later, their time and friendship together had seen the two of them through almost every kind of obstacle life could throw at them. From family problems to shitty jobs, fights with their in-person friends to mopey hangovers spent talking quietly through Discord. Sylvain had helped Felix through the death of his brother, and Felix had listened to Sylvain cry softly into the phone when he called him after his older brother threatened his life. They were, in every way possible, each other’s best and closest friend despite the ocean separating them.

And after all this time, Sylvain was single… Felix had never heard Sylvain express interest in men, so he figured it to be a lost cause.

Felix’s heart thudded in his chest when he looked at Sylvain’s smile, which even through a webcam was handsome and breathtaking. “I cannot wait. I hope you have a good rest of your night, Sylvain.”

“You too, Fe. Get some sleep! And I’ll see if you’re still showing online… and come bully you if you are,” his friend smiled, waving at the camera softly. Felix waved back as his heart skipped a beat, deciding to keep his mouth shut despite what his brain was screaming at him to do. He sadly closed out of the window and pulled off his shirt before falling down into his sheets, feeling more alone than he had in a while.

As he set his alarm for five a.m. (he winced when he saw he only had a few hours to sleep), his face flashed to his background, which he had ashamedly set as a picture of Sylvain from his social media. It was simple: just a photo of him candidly caught smiling and laughing. If Felix recalled correctly, it was from his birthday back in June while he was out with some friends. He’d joked with his friend that it was beautiful enough to be a wallpaper but had kept it to himself when he’d actually done that.

Felix’s groin twitched as he looked at the tight black V-neck shirt Sylvain was wearing in the picture, thinking back to moments before when he’d seen his chest bare. Sylvain joked about buying all of his shirts one size too small, but Felix was far from complaining. He bit his lip and opened up his profile on his phone, scrolling through his pictures. Felix rarely posted and had mostly gotten a social media account to see what his best friend’s life was like outside of gaming. He liked taking pictures of his food, his face, and his dog, which made following him a dream.

His free hand slipped down below his waistband, brushing against his already hard cock. He shuddered when he freed it, a small moan slipping out of his mouth when he began to move his fingers over himself.

His mind fantasized about falling into bed next to Sylvain, wrapping their bodies up in one another and making out. He knew he liked to cuddle, and knew he liked to be the little spoon despite being tall. Felix wondered if Sylvain would be turned on by the noises he’d make, unable to contain them if he had the opportunity to feel his lips on his and his skin beneath his fingertips. He moved his face closer into his pillow and let them spill out freely as he palmed himself, ankles crossing down below in ecstasy. If only Sylvain were there to slow his hand, only to pull it up and kiss it before he pinned it to the bed below them, moving in between Felix’s legs to take over himself…

“Sylvain…” When he muttered his best friend’s name the coil tightening in his stomach lit a fire up through his abdomen, mercilessly beating around his heart and shooting into his throat. He choked out a noise somewhere between a sob and a grunt as he quickened his pace, dropping his phone now that his imagination had taken over. He wanted his best friend to press his fully erect cock into him, filling him up wholly with it until Felix was a whimpering, sputtering mess. He wanted Sylvain to pull him up and hold his ass as he fucked him against the headboard, uncaring if it slammed against the wall noisily.

More importantly, though, he wanted Sylvain physically beside him, so whenever Felix’s heart ached for him, he’d be able to simply reach out and squeeze his hand or peck a sweet kiss against his cheek.

A bittersweet tear found its way out of his eye as he came into his hand, panting loudly into the empty room around him as he milked his weeping cock. A shiver went from his head to his toes, heart fighting a battle between allowing himself that extra emotion on top of his longing. Holding it in lost, and he embarrassingly began to cry softly as he lie there coming off his orgasm. His breath could not slow as his chest tightened, the aching and pining for Sylvain making every inch of his body hurt. He damned the distance, his lack of extra money; he damned every single thing that been keeping them apart the last seven years. He had only known peace throughout it all because of Sylvain’s friendship, and being apart physically was beginning to take its toll on Felix.

When he thought of Sylvain’s smiling face, he laughed through his tears happily and was finally able to calm his breathing and heartbeat. He rose from his bed and went to the bathroom to clean up, taking care to brush his teeth and wash his face, remembering selfies Sylvain sent him of face masks draped over his cheeks with a tiny hairclip pulling his hair out of his eyes. It was nearly one in the morning now, but he wrote a note on a sticky pad on his desk to pick up a mask and use it later that night.

He curled up in bed, still feeling alone but far better knowing Sylvain was never more than either a phone call or message away. He fell asleep in relative relaxation, excited the weekend was upon them.

**

Sylvain waved at his webcam at Felix, chest tightening when his window went black. His head fell back as he tugged on his balls below the desk, finally free to gasp out loud at his own touch. Felix had looked so _handsome_ today, his voice sounding like smooth velvet through his headset. He couldn’t help but touch himself in horny agony as they’d worked on their characters. His back arched off of his desk chair as he pumped his cock quickly, unable to hold in his whining anymore now that he was alone.

“F-Felix— _Shit_ …” He stopped before he spoiled his orgasm, standing up quickly and hurrying over to his bed. Sylvain pulled out a dildo and lube from his nightstand drawer, lathering it all over and falling down onto the sheets with his feet still on the ground. He’d slipped his shorts off at the desk, so hastily shoved his underwear down far enough so he could enter himself. His eyes closed as he replayed their conversation over in his mind, heart fluttering at the intoxicating sound of Felix’s voice through the headset, his adorable accent cute and sexy simultaneously. He hissed as he pressed the toy into himself but shuddered in pleasure. He keened when he resumed pumping his cock, thinking of the way his long navy hair had fallen on his shoulders with his headset perched up top.

As he fucked himself, Sylvain imagined picking Felix up and tossing him down onto his bed, kissing every square inch of his body to make him squirm. He’d fight off every command from his brain telling him to fuck him to take his time; hell, he’d lovingly disobey Felix’s pleas to fuck him to make it last longer. He’d wrap his hands firmly around his hips and take his cock all the way to the back of his throat, licking and sucking up and down it until the other would be unable to form coherent speech.

Sylvain imagined Felix’s beautiful face contorting in pleasure below him. He wanted nothing more than to send him to the moon and then bring him gently back down with songs of his praises and tender kisses. After he was done pampering him in bed, he’d whisk away to the kitchen to cook him the spiciest food imaginable, serve it to him, and then take him for another round.

“Ahhn—fuck!” Sylvain collapsed down onto the sheets as he came, toes curling into the carpet at his feet. Mama whined outside his door, throwing her gigantic paw against it and rattling it on the doorframe. He chuckled in embarrassment and looked at the mess he made on his bed, wishing he’d had the sense to put a towel or _something_ down, because god fuck this was his last clean set of sheets…

He eased the dildo out of his ass and blushed, still slightly amazed every day at where he was mentally with his sexuality. He’d been slow to accepting the idea that he was gay… but then Felix started wearing sleeveless turtlenecks and talking about how he never was able to grow facial hair so always had smooth skin. Life was funny like that.

As he cleaned off the toy in his bathroom sink, he thought about his best friend and couldn’t help but smile. He’d wanted _all day_ to be able to sit down and play the new game with him. If he was being honest with himself he’d only picked it up since it had relatively good reviews about the multiplayer; the last couple of games he’d bought were too irritating to both of them to try. They’d played nearly every single title in the last three years together, Sylvain delighting in the rages Felix would go into and secretly record the audio so he could giggle at it later.

Sylvain pulled the sheets off his bed and sadly loaded them into the washer, staring at Mama pitifully as she spread herself out on her massive pet bed, free from sinful fluids soiling it.

“Why can’t he just _be here_ …” he moped, mind quickly shifting from gleeful reminiscing to sorrowful reminders about the distance between him and Felix. He sunk down against the wall and pet his best canine companion on her large, silly head, chest tightening when she sighed as though she too felt the pain of missing someone they’d never met in person.

Sylvain had too many memories of Felix to decide what his favorite one was. They’d been through hell and back together, seemingly always almost instantly available if one of them needed to talk. He had never maintained a friendship made online like this one, and he was thankful every single day that they had managed to stay so close.

Mama stood up and stretched, padding towards the door. Sylvain threw on clothes and clicked her leash onto her harness, locking up his apartment and setting out to take her for a good, long walk. He told her all about their characters they’d made and how excited he was to play with him again, thankful for someone to talk to now that Felix was asleep. She looked up at him with the admiration only a pet could. Sylvain pretended like she was actually comprehending what he said.

As he neared the dog park, he cell buzzed in his pocket. He smirked when he saw his friend Dimitri’s passed out drunk contact picture light up on the screen, accepting the call happily.

“Hey homie!”

“Hello, Sylvain. I was calling to see if you’d like to join us for dinner.”

“Hmm… who’s _us_?” Sylvain stopped when Mama squatted in someone’s small flower garden outside their brownstone.

“Just myself and Dedue. He’s making—”

“Dedue’s cooking, got it. Really, that’s all you had to say,” Sylvain chuckled, gently tugging Mama away from the flowers and looking both ways before he crossed the street to the dog park. “When do you want me over?”

“Just come over whenever. Bring Mama; you know it is a _sad_ , _empty_ home over here,” he heard Dimitri’s mouth away from the phone pointedly talking to Dedue. He heard his boyfriend reply with “you’re the one who cries whenever we go to the shelter and can’t decide on just one.”

He rung their doorbell twenty minutes later, staring up at the tall row house before him. One day he hoped to finally own and not rent, but then remembered he could just call maintenance to fix the broken shit in his apartment and not have to turn his life into an HGTV episode. He wanted to live that life for as long as he could. 

“Sylvain, so nice to see you,” Dedue smiled, opening the door and letting him and Mama inside. She gently jumped up and put her paws on his chest, only coming up to the bottom of his pecs because of how tall Dedue was. Seeing the mountain of a man tenderly petting her was probably one of the purest things Sylvain had ever seen.

“Thanks for having me over! We need to take you guys down to the shelter to get one… it’d be such a nice holiday surprise for Dimitri…” Dedue smiled and put his pointer finger over his lips and peeked through the open door down the hall to see if his boyfriend was standing immediately within earshot.

“That’s what I’m planning on doing.”

Sylvain pumped his fists with an excited smile and followed Dedue through the kitchen door.

“Welcome, welcome!” Dimitri stood up and gave Sylvain a brief but warm hug, immediately focusing his attention on the massive pup dancing happily at his feet. He lifted her up with seemingly no effort at all, supporting her back legs as he rubbed her belly.

“I’m not gonna lie, man, that’s incredible but also terrifying,” Sylvain snorted, sitting down at the dinner table and leaning back to get comfortable.

They all caught up while Dimitri bustled around Dedue cooking, making Sylvain nearly wet with jealousy over their domesticity. He had tried having a girlfriend living with him and he couldn’t say he’d been a fan. She was adamant that he not have friends other than her though, so that hadn’t lasted very long.

“How’s Felix?” Dedue asked warmly, smiling sweetly at Dimitri as he opened the oven for him. Minus fifteen points to Sylvain’s composure. He was already preparing to gush over his friends and was sitting at a 80/100 health bar. As a matter of fact, he had to add another minus fifteen when his close friends mentioned his long-distance best friend as though he were apart of their group. Ten minutes at Dimitri and Dedue’s and he was already at 50/100? Damn.

Sylvain’s belly fluttered with butterflies as he sadly placed his head on his propped-up arm, sighing and smiling weakly. It was all Dimitri needed, coming over to sit at the table with him with a caring hand on his shoulder.

Since Dimitri and Sylvain had grown up together, he’d been there throughout his and Felix’s entire friendship. He saw things in Sylvain that he knew his friend didn’t want to admit out loud. He saw the way his eyes lit up whenever he talked about him, knew just how much his hands jittered with excitement when they discussed new games and he mentioned he played them with Felix. Whenever Dimitri pressed him about his feelings though, the redheaded idiot that was his lifelong friend would deny any romantic feelings for him and insist they were just best friends. Dimitri had never had problems admitting his feelings, but he knew Sylvain was a different story.

“When are you two finally going to meet?” Dedue asked from the counter, serving the meal he’d prepared onto their good plates. Minus five to Sylvain’s health bar. He wanted to have ‘good’ and ‘not as good’ dinnerware with Felix. A hefty 45/100, the L was becoming clearer in the distance…

“Unfortunately, every time I ask, he says he can’t afford it. So, I say I’ll pay for it, but he won’t _let me_ …” Sylvain slumped in his seat and folded his arms over his chest. He knew Felix wasn’t bad with money, only buying games after he’d saved up for them. But he also knew that as emotionally rewarding his job was working in a shelter and in rescue, it wasn’t rewarding financially.

Dimitri squirmed, wanting to offer a solution he knew Sylvain had probably thought about himself, but hesitating because he didn’t know Felix like he did. With a glance over at his boyfriend though, then another at his childhood friend in misery, he threw all caution to the wind and said something he’d been waiting a year to say.

“Why don’t you just… surprise him? I mean, absolutely make sure he’d be able to leave, has his passport, you know… but maybe show him you’re ready for that next step?”

Sylvain’s mouth twitched with excitement, his cheeks going pink at the idea. He knew Felix wouldn’t be so stubborn as to turn him down, but he’d definitely get an earful of how Sylvain shouldn’t spend his money on him. It’s what happened whenever he did, because one of his first inklings that he was in love with his best friend was how much he loved to spoil him. He had enough money to be comfortable thanks to his family, but had still been buying games for Felix for years before he was finally entitled to his grandparents’ inheritance.

Sylvain peered at Dimitri and held his hand over his chest, anxious but extremely excited about the possibility.

They’d been talking about it for nearly a decade.

Sylvain hugged Dimitri, ready to finally take that leap.

**

Felix got ready the next morning a little more excitedly than normal, heart bursting at the seams because he would soon be free to sit at home all weekend and play the new game with Sylvain. Fridays were always busy at the shelter too, so he hoped it’d be normal and go by quickly. A day without an excruciatingly sad animal surrender would be the perfect way to start things off right.

Naturally, though, due to the nature of his work, he was disappointed nearly as soon as his shift started. An anxious high school aged girl was waiting with a box outside the shelter door as he walked up, panic in her eyes but relieved when she saw Felix.

"Arbeiten Sie hier? Diese Katzen sind letze Nacht auf die Welt gekommen, aber ihre Mutter hat es leider nicht überlebt…”

With a heavy heart Felix nodded, unlocking the door quickly and inviting her in. They had been born the night prior, but she had cared for them to the best of her ability before she brought them in. She smiled at him graciously, opening the box so he could look at them. Six tiny kittens were mewing, milk still on their whiskers. He was relieved to see them moving around and making noise.

"Ich hab's sogar geschafft ihnen ein wenig Milch zu geben!" She had kept them warm and fed them.

"Das hast du gut gemacht, danke dass du sie hierher gebracht hast."

He took down her info, got her name and where she found them, thanking her profusely for bringing them there and not dumping them somewhere. He commended her newborn kitten knowledge and promised to make sure they were taken care of. Felix texted a picture of them to Sylvain, knowing it’d be a nice surprise for him when he woke up later.

_Mutter did not make it : ( but cute!!_

He set up an extra cozy cage in his office, putting a note on the bars that he’d be taking them home over the weekend to make sure they got the best care without their mom. Although the morning had a rough start, he promised himself to make it a good day and cuddled the kittens if he needed it.

At two in the afternoon, his cellphone buzzed while he was gently running a soft bristled kid’s toothbrush over the kittens’ backs. A hundred or so heart and crying emojis from Sylvain greeted him, making him laugh softly and bring a wide smile to Felix’s face.

_You are so amazing… those babies are so lucky to have u : ( : ( : ( mama is v happy you saved more lives <3 how is your day otherwise?_

Felix’s heart fluttered. He scooped one of the kittens up softly in his palm and snapped a picture of him kissing it.

_how do you think? also better now that i can talk to you : )_

Felix’s breath hitched in his throat when Sylvain replied with a selfie of himself pretending to cry. He’d included Mama and they were in Sylvain’s bed cuddling, Felix wholly unsurprised but still happy to see him shirtless. He quickly saved it to his phone and gently set the kitten back in the cage, smiling as they crawled to the pile their siblings were molded into.

_it has been not a good day. but! we can play the game soon and stay up until ungodly hours LOL._

_i cannot. WAIT!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3_

Felix was selfishly comforted by Sylvain’s text. No matter how bad his day was, he always had a shoulder to lean on.

Later that evening, Felix took his time getting home, knowing he had a few more hours until it was time for Sylvain to get off work. He took a rideshare so he wasn’t on public transit with a large cat carrier, not wanting the loud noises to disrupt the kittens. After he unlocked his door and lugged it inside, he set up a queening box in his bedroom and lined it with soft blankets. The babies once again formed a mound in the corner and snuggled together for warmth.

As he made sure they couldn’t crawl out, there was a knock at his door. He peered inquisitively at it, looking through the peephole to see a woman standing there with takeout in her arms. He opened it and looked at her in confusion.

"Hier bitte, deine Bestellung. Guten Appetit!"

"Ich habe nichts bestellt. Bist du sicher, dass du hier richtig bist?" Was she in the right place? Was she confused? He hadn’t ordered anything to his knowledge… he was wanting to save his money and eat in that evening.

"Fraldarius, oder?" That indeed was his last name… and it wasn’t like every other person in his city shared it…

"....Ja? Danke?" He took the bag from her with a small smile and stepped back into his apartment. He panicked a bit and checked his bank account online, not seeing any new charges or change in balance. The food smelled heavenly, although he was obviously a bit hesitant to open it. Felix couldn’t imagine anyone would want to kill him by poisoning his favorite takeout, but crazy people were everywhere…

His phone buzzed, a message from Sylvain temporarily taking him out of his confusion.

_did everything arrive okay???_

Felix’s mouth dropped open. There was no way…

_Someone just delivered food for me? I? did not order it?? Lol if I turn up dead remember me fondly sylvain…._

_OMG YAY! It did arrive ok : ) that’s from me. i wanted u to worry about one less thing fe : )_

Felix’s hand shot over his mouth as he read Sylvain’s message, rereading it at least five times before he let himself breathe. His fingers fumbled over the buttons, but he hit ‘facetime’ and fidgeted with tears in his eyes.

“Hi, Fe!” Sylvain was all smiles, seated in his office. Felix blubbered some incoherent words while he chuckled at him, motioning to the food on the table.

“You… did not have to do this. You do not have to spend your money on me—”

“I knooow, I know,” Sylvain said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he leaned back in his large leather desk chair. “But you had a bad day and I wanted to help even in a little way like making sure you had a good dinner. It’s your favorite place, right?! The app was a little confusing since I don’t live in Germany…”

Felix held in his tears as Sylvain went on, heart thudding in his chest at his luck. Sylvain was on the other side of the world, six hours behind him, still working, yet he’d taken the time to do this for him. He felt immense guilt alongside his happiness though, hating himself for the fact that he wasn’t as easily able to do such things for Sylvain.

“Thank you from the bottom of mine heart. I do not know what I would do without you, mein Liebling,” Felix mumbled through tears, wiping his eyes in embarrassment. Sylvain’s smile could have halted armies, stopped a war, and brought world peace. His head tilted slightly as he gazed at his best friend through his phone screen.

“It’s no problem at all. I’m going to sneak out of here early if I can. I gotta go now… but please enjoy your dinner! I can’t wait to get home so we can play…!” Felix could just nod furiously, waving happily as Sylvain waved back at him. He set his phone down and took a deep breath, unpacking the bag to find that not only had Sylvain remembered his favorite restaurant, but he’d ordered his favorite meal as well. He ate it slowly and deliberately, savoring every last bite until it was gone. 


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seven years of talking about meeting and longing to meet one another in person, Sylvain bites the bullet and decides to finally make his and his best friend's dream a reality. Par for the course, however, he has to work through some lingering demons before he can do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two!! I'm soooooo so excited to post this chapter because it literally made me lightheaded writing the end LOL. This has been such a joy and journey to write! Echo and I decided to add another chapter too because... things need to happen. :)   
> A huge thank you to everyone who supports me and sends me comments and messages ;A; I'd be nowhere without your generosity. I hope you enjoy this! <3  
> (Once again, fair amount of German dialogue. But I think you should keep google translate handy because it's FUNNY AS FUCK)

_“I do not know what I would do without you, mein Liebling…”_ Sylvain repeated Felix’s words in his head a thousand times after pocketing his phone and nearly running out of his office to take a walk. He was supposed to be getting back to the spreadsheets his boss had sent him, but he couldn’t at the moment because Felix had just referred to him as his _treasure_. As his _favorite_. His brain was short circuiting.

Sylvain had taken up learning German, or at least attempting to. Because he was a _sucker_ and _loved_ Felix a lot, he’d learned the pet names first. He often fantasized about purring those words into his ear over the phone, one day hoping he could to his face.

Had… had he _meant_ it that way? There was… almost no way he’d use ‘Liebling’ in a non-romantic context.

Almost no way.

Sylvain slowed his footsteps outside in the courtyard of his office building, pacing gently in the cold air. His heart threatened to beat out of his chest, aching for him to call Felix back and tell him how he truly felt. He hadn’t thought that buying him dinner would have made him cry, but seeing how happy it had made him had truly added years onto his life, or made him feel like it did.

With his hands still shaking, he went back inside and up the elevator to his office, feeling extremely lightheaded, feeling extremely in love with his best friend. When he sat back down at his desk, he mindlessly opened up an airline’s website and priced out flights from point A to point B, and vice versa. He exercised self-restraint by not just buying it, but wrote down some info on a sticky and stuck it to his monitor.

As he looked at the calendar, his stomach shifted anxiously when he remembered it was already December. He could almost picture no wetter dream than wrapping Felix up in a scarf and walking with him around the city, sitting at a table in a coffee shop snuggled together over hot chocolate. His hand went to his mouth to stifle how his breath had deepened, his brow furrowing in anticipation.

Sylvain peeped around his monitor and out his office door, checking to see if his boss was making his afternoon rounds. When he saw the coast was clear, he got up and shut it, dialing Dimitri.

“Sylvain? Is everything alright?” Sylvain could hear his friend washing dishes. 

“Yeah, of course! Oh, duh. It’s like noon. Shit. Why am I not at lunch? Anyways…” He sat down in his desk chair and glanced at his sticky note, chest tightening again in hopeful anxiousness. “I… was looking at flights.”

“Syl _vain_! Dedue, honey, _he looked at flights_!” Dimitri sounded almost more excited than Sylvain did, slamming the kitchen faucet off and taking him off speaker phone. “Did you talk to Felix about it?”

“No… I bought him dinner though?” Sylvain explained the task that had been using the food delivery app in German, but melted when he reminisced about Felix’s reaction. He could have sword he heard Dimitri sniffle.

“Sylvain, that’s… so incredibly kind of you. I can’t believe your first meeting may be at Christmas time.”

Sylvain smiled like an idiot, spinning around in his chair as his fingers gripped his phone tighter and his other hand his thigh.

“I… can’t believe this is actually going to happen.”

**

Felix opened the door with a smile not too long after he finished eating to greet his close friend Ingrid. In her hands was a bottle of their favorite Moscato and a single Blu-ray case. Felix bit his lip and shot her a look when he read the title.

" _Love, actually_...? Willst du, dass ich heule?"

"Naja, eigentlich wollte ich nur wissen ob du wirklich von Anfang bis Ende weinen musst," she smiled, coming over the threshold and heading to the kitchen. Ingrid was always giving him a hard time… he shouldn’t have been surprised that she wanted to see if he’d really cry from start to finish. She stuck the wine in the fridge and peered around for a snack, pouting at her friend when there wasn’t much to pick from.

"Das werde ich. Du bist so verdammt unhöflich,” laughed Felix, stepping over to a cabinet and pulling out a bag of chips and throwing them to her. "Ich konnte noch nicht einkaufen gehen... aber ich wünschte du hättest Popcorn mitgebracht..." His payback for the torture she was about to put him through was not having any snacks for her to eat. He also needed to go shopping… but he digressed.

Felix gently wrapped up all six kittens in a soft blanket and fed them with a bottle while Ingrid got the movie set up. As the clips of people hugging in airports started rolling, so did the tears down his cheeks. Ingrid snickered horribly at him, snuggling up to him on the couch and patting his shoulder in comfort.

"Scheiße, ich hab gedacht Dorothea hat mich verarscht…"she giggled, secretly snapping a photo of him on her cellphone to send to her girlfriend. Felix heard her typing and looked at her in playful disbelief. Dorothea had seen him cry plenty of times over movies. It was yet another playful way his friends, _especially_ Ingrid and Dorothea, gave him a hard time: to sit with Felix and count down how long it took him to get teary-eyed.

"Du bist so ein mieser Verräter!!” Ingrid was a traitor, and Felix had to let her know that.

Colin Firth continued his introductory monologue. As the title dropped on the screen, Felix embarrassingly sobbed against his left forearm, where one of the tiny kittens was resting as it drank happily. Ingrid watched him lovingly as he gently pressed his nose to the kitten’s belly in comfort. When her phone buzzed in her hands, her eyes darted over at Felix to make sure he wasn’t able to see her screen.

_guten abend ingriiiid!_

_Hiiiii sylvain. Felix and I are watching love, actually_

_Omfg. pls take a picture of him crying._

_Already done. Here you go._

Ingrid stifled a laugh as Sylvain smashed his keys in response, giggling upon seeing the picture that she’d sent to Dorothea.

_JKSDFDSHJDJJSDHSF.the kitten!!!!! are the rest on… his lap?!_

“Felix, Sag mal Ameisenscheiße!”

Felix looked up and stared at her in bewilderment at the childish command to smile, tears in sheets on his cheeks and nose running unattractively. She included the kittens in the blanket on his lap and smiled warmly as she shot it over to Sylvain.

They had been on ‘friendly enough to be friends on social media’ terms for the last three years, ever since Felix had told her about his gigantic crush on Sylvain. Ingrid had put herself in the background of their Skype and facetime calls enough to where sometimes, Sylvain would say hi to her before Felix. They had quickly discovered their mutual love of giving him a hard time, relishing when he pouted or got bratty when they ganged up on him. Whenever he saw them chatting, he’d utter “ich hasse euch” in an exaggerated, mopey manner. They loved it almost as much as they both loved Felix.

_does fe have his passport?_

Ingrid’s eyes widened in curiosity at Sylvain’s question, once again peeping at Felix to make sure he wasn’t reading over her shoulder.

_Ja. WHY_

Sylvain typed for what felt like days. Ingrid watched in heightening anxiety as the three little dots kept reappearing in the chat window, wanting to throw her phone in anticipation. She nearly screamed when a short, simple reply popped up.

_i want to surprise him with a plane ticket for christmas. to finally meet in person_

Ingrid Brandl Galatea, the girl who sat through having her entire left ribcage tattooed with dry eyes, who had not even shed a tear when her mother had passed away five years prior, nearly instantly sobbed out loud and had to slam her phone down into her lap while she clutched her hand over her mouth.

“Ingrid?” Felix asked worriedly. He had just picked up the next kitten in line to be fed. She had to take a moment before she could look at him, her chest burning with happiness, her emotions currently too overwhelming for her to form a coherent sentence. She blubbered random noises as she choked through another sob, panicking to explain her sudden outburst. On the screen, Jaime had just walked in on his girlfriend and brother having an affair, so she used it as a scapegoat.

“Diese verdammte _bitch_ …” she chuckled, running her sleeve over her eyes and forcing a wide smile. She wanted to fall onto Felix’s chest, wanted to reassure him that all these years of heartache would finally have a light at the end of the tunnel, would finally be worth the wait.

He eyed her oddly but took her word for it. He assumed that Dorothea had sent her a disgustingly sweet message and hadn’t been able to control herself.

As the movie lightened up, his crying ceased to gentle sniffling, snuggling up to his closest friend’s shoulder while they held the kittens in their laps. It turned out to be exactly what he needed after experiencing so much emotion earlier in the evening, thankful he had someone like Ingrid to spend time with when he missed Sylvain with agonizing difficulty.

She understood better than anyone what it was like to love someone long-distance: Dorothea had only recently moved to their city from the northern part of the country recently although they’d been dating for years.

He returned the babies to their queening box after pausing the film with ten minutes left. He knew he was in for it emotionally, so he went to the bathroom and fetched a box of tissues out of the linen closet in preparation.

Ingrid anxiously typed back to Sylvain when Felix disappeared into his room.

_S Y L V A I N. SYLVAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_I N G R I D !!!!!_

_I can speaks for Felix. You should absolutely does it. it will make him so very happy <3 he is coming back (he is about to be crying so much! Movie is almost over). but I can help with details._

She slid her phone back under her thigh and smirked at Felix when he padded back into the living room, opening up her arms to hold him lovingly; he was already quietly weeping, ripping out multiple tissues from the box. She hugged her closest friend, the one who had helped her through her own long-distance struggle and every other unfavorable event in her life since she was thirteen years old. She couldn’t believe it was finally happening for him too, couldn’t fathom Felix’s reaction when Sylvain would surprise him.

Dorothea texted her that she was home just as the credits rolled, so she hugged Felix tightly and said her goodbyes. She smiled at him, successfully hiding the fact she knew something he didn’t.

Felix chuckled at himself as he tossed out his mountain of used tissues away, heart picking up when he heard a Skype call coming through on the computer in his room. He happily pulled on his headset and answered Sylvain, trying to hide how joyfully he bounced in his seat.

“Traffic... was a _goddamn nightmare_ …” the redhead mumbled, closing his eyes and slumping down in his chair. Felix’s groin twitched when he saw he was still in his white collared shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top buttons undone to reveal his chest. “And my boss sent me like. Thirty fucking spreadsheets to work on over the weekend.”

Felix smiled sadly at Sylvain. “You must put in that work for all that money!” They snickered together as they both loaded up the game. “One day, when I grow up, I will also be having a ‘big boy job’ that I can complain about,” joked Felix. Sylvain’s mouth dropped open.

“You _have_ a big boy job, man,” he scoffed lightly, mindlessly undoing the buttons on his shirt while he maintained eye contact with his webcam. “Your job is one hundred times more meaningful and stressful than mine.”

Felix’s eyes darted between Sylvain’s window on his screen and the game loading, throat and stomach growing warm. He knew there was absolutely no ulterior motive behind Sylvain practically giving him a strip tease, but he silently enjoyed it anyway. Sylvain sat forward in his chair and was concentrating silently on the screen, shirt fully unbuttoned and just. Hanging open. Felix squirmed and had to readjust how he sat so his cock wasn’t uncomfortably shoved up against his jeans.

Sylvain went off on an aimless tangent about how he hoped the romancing options would be better in this game while Felix watched him. The younger man was entirely too caught up in how his best friend’s hair, which was a bit longer than normal because he hadn’t cut it in months, framed his face and fell in gentle waves over his eyes. He silently hoped and prayed the other wouldn’t fetch one of his silly tiny clips to pull it up and away. The only thing he wanted to touch those locks was his own hand.

The redhead sat back as their server loaded, stretching. It felt _so fucking nice_ to finally be at home, feeling free knowing there wasn’t a time either one of them _had_ to be in bed by. Knowing they had the next two days to hang out made him able to truly relax.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sylvain could have sworn he saw Felix checking him out. Were his eyes darting between the camera and his screen, or was he just fever dreaming that they were? His movements made him seem restless; he was cracking his knuckles repeatedly like he always did when he was anxious. He felt ludicrous just thinking that he might be watching him undress… but what was the harm in pretending?

Sylvain stood up to extend his stretch, peeking down to see if his stomach was exposed in the frame. He had already removed his belt, so was pleased to see that not only was were his toned hips showing, but his in-progress six-pack also came through crystal clear on his expensive webcam. He made a mental note to do some crunches later.

Hell, even if Felix _wasn’t_ checking him out, Sylvain would be a goddamn liar if he said he didn’t enjoy looking at himself every now and then.

“I’m gonna go put my jammies on. This thing is slow as fuck…” he mumbled, setting his headset down on his desk and turning to head to his closet. He opened the door and snuck a glance back at his monitors, where he could see he was still in view. His stomach twisted and turned in his abdomen as he stepped inside the closet and rummaged through his dresser inside for a pair of pajama pants. He prayed that the Goddess wouldn’t strike him down for being this much of a sinner then and there as he pulled some out and dropped his dress pants to the ground.

Felix shuddered in abject shock as he watched all of this happening, not being strong-willed or stupid enough to yell to Sylvain that he could see him. His chest rose and fell quickly, his breath probably loud enough for Sylvain to hear if he hadn’t muted his headset. He forced himself to not stare directly or constantly at the screen like a moron, so instead he pretended to wait for the game to load while his hand slipped down under his desk and into his pants. As Sylvain walked away to his closet, he tugged on his cock expectantly, eyes following every shift of the muscles of his back.

His mind ran away at breakneck speed. He imagined himself walking up behind Sylvain and wrapping his arms around his waist and sliding his hands down the front of his pants, wishing he could lightly scratch his nails into his groin before rubbing his dick. He wanted to suck and kiss the back of his neck and torso, biting into him to mark his territory.

 _Fuck…_ he thought to himself, quickening his pace on himself under the desk. When he looked up and saw the other’s pants falling to the floor in the closet, he yelped out loud and slammed his hand over his mouth.

He checked the calendar hanging up by his desk.

It wasn’t his birthday.

It wasn’t Christmas yet. Did Sylvain know what gifts he was giving him?

Felix gasped out into the air of his bedroom and whined, aching for release as he watched Sylvain changing. As the other walked back he forced himself to regain his composure, still furiously jacking off his cock underneath the desk.

He about fainted when Sylvain sauntered— _yes,_ that motherfucker was _sauntering_ —back to his seat, spreading his legs widely once on the leather chair. Felix quickly unmuted his headset and forced himself to stop panting.

“Better?”

“You know it! Hey, Fe, you feeling okay?” Felix cocked his head to the side, to which Sylvain continued, “your face is super red! Do you have a fever?” Felix noticed the concern in both his voice and face, making his heart pump somehow faster in his chest.

“Nein, nein… Might just be the cold,” Felix lied, waving his unoccupied hand flippantly. “But, even if I _was_ sick I would still be playing with you!” Sylvain smiled at him and they finally dove into their game.

Sylvain quietly relished in just how quickly Felix got angry whenever he died, going back to his secret habit of recording their screens and audio when he sensed a tirade coming on. One day, he hoped to compile a collection of these and send them to Ingrid.

Felix was currently caught up in gathering materials for their base in the game, and Sylvain’s mind was reeling. When a boss appeared on his side of the map, he hatched an idea that was entirely, grossly self-indulgent and hid his laughter.

“Fe, come help me kill this guy. Our homestead is at stake.”

“Shit, one sec…” Felix deposited the materials in a chest and left their house, running to join Sylvain in the fight. With their early-game weaponry and armor, the boss was hard as hell to defeat. They managed to get his health bar down near to the very end, then Sylvain made his move. He sent his character right up behind Felix’s and used his cursed sword to kill him, eyes glued to Felix’s video window. He hit the record button on the program and waited.

Sylvain’s lips twitched in laughter, watching the drama unfold in Felix’s mind. He could physically see his blood beginning to boil and the cogs grinding to life under his scalp, trying his best not to guffaw out loud.

Felix stopped and stared at his webcam, his inner demons about to spring forth upon Sylvain with such rage the likes of which his best friend had never seen. His free hand-- he was lazily palming himself under the desk because the game was… actually pretty fun—slowly rose to his mouth and covered it before all hell broke loose.

"Du bist so scheiße, oh mein Gott!!! Du verdammter Scheißkerl, ich hasse dich so sehr! Warum machst du sowas beschissenes?? Du verdammter Wichser, warum???? Scheiße man, was soll das? Verdammter Mist, du bist so ein Arschloch!"

Sylvain bellowed out in laughter, arms flying down to wrap around his waist as he caught every other word Felix shrieked at him. It wasn’t rare that his best friend popped off like this, as he was a rage _machine_ when it came to playing games, but to hear him scream in such raw anger had Sylvain dying. He nearly fell out of his chair when Felix rolled his own chair over to his bed, took a pillow into his hands and yelled into it. He yelled and writhed around comically for a full minute, bringing tears to Sylvain’s eyes as he laughed.

Felix glared at the cackling Sylvain. “If I could come through this screen right now, Sylvain Jose Gautier, I _would_ and I would _fucking_ kill you,” he mumbled, face flushing at how adorable Sylvain was when he was laughing as hard as he was. Felix’s anger was mostly ( _mostly_ ) a show, but his best friend eased it quickly by being so handsome. His deep laugh filled Felix up from his belly to his brain, which was fuzzy from the two extreme emotions bubbling inside him.

“F-Felix, look man, I’m s-sorry,” Sylvain chuckled, finally settling down and wiping tears from his eyes. “You’re just… so _fucking_ funny,” he choked, ending the recording and hitting save.

“You will not be a laughing man when I beat your ass!” Felix threatened, a silly idea popping up into his head. As Sylvain calmed down, he took a screenshot of him pretending to block the other, sending it over Skype with angry emojis. “I will finish what I started all those years ago,” he teased, starting to giggle himself. Sylvain’s continued laughter was funnier than whatever joke he played on Felix.

“Ahh, Felix,” Sylvain sighed, settling back into his chair and taking a deep breath. “You’re… my _best_ friend. I love you.”

“I love you too, Sylvain.”

They didn’t know it, but both of them immediately froze. Sylvain from saying something he _knew_ to be heavily loaded and multi layered because of his true feelings, and Felix because he so quickly admitted something he _knew_ to mean more than the face value of his reply. Both men fought wars inside their brains and hearts, mouths opening and closing while they decided if now was the time or not—

Mama woofed loudly on Sylvain’s end, pounding in through his bedroom door and standing up with her paws on his desk. Felix was thankful for the distraction, because he’d been two seconds away from saying something serious. Sylvain hugged on his pup in excitement but did so with quiet appreciation she had stopped him from confessing to the love of his life over chat and not in person.

“Ohhhh, Mama!” called Felix, waving at his webcam and smiling like a fool. He cooed over her while Sylvain pet her. “I love _you_ more than your papa, you know!” He winked at Sylvain and chuckled.

“Wooooow!” Sylvain replied, glancing up at the screen. He felt his face grow warm at the loving expression on Felix’s face; he could _feel_ the happiness his best friend was exuding. “I’m gonna run this little lady out real quick. Do you forgiiive me?” he whined at Felix, putting on his best puppy dog pout.

“Of course, you idiot,” Felix laughed. He watched sadly as Sylvain threw on a jacket and waved before Mama lead him out of the bedroom and to the front door.

When he was certain they had left his apartment, he threw his arm down on the desk and slammed his head onto it as he resumed jacking himself off, working himself fast and quickly so he could cum. He imagined pouncing on Sylvain playfully out of fake anger, pinning his arms down and attacking his neck with bites to ‘punish’ him. When he thought about how Sylvain’s strong chest had heaved with laughter as his expense, he smiled like an idiot and felt his cock threatening to erupt. He grabbed a tissue and barely made it, catching his white, warm load inside it with a shudder.

“Goddamn…” Felix muttered, falling back on his chair and closing his eyes as his own chest rose and fell. Most of the time, he forced himself to think of other things or people when he masturbated so he wouldn’t get caught up in longing for Sylvain. When he allowed himself the luxury of thinking of the man he loved, though, it was always infinitely better, satisfying him physically and emotionally.

With a defeated sigh, he threw the tissue away and padded across the carpet to his bathroom to wash his hands, upset with himself now despite his prior joy. Now, he’d have to go back to sitting in front of a computer screen, thousands and _thousands_ of miles away from that man. He considered how much money he might get for selling a kidney so he could afford to go see him…

Felix ripped open the beauty mask he’d bought on the way home after he washed his face, smiling softly to himself as he draped it over his cheeks. He pulled his hair back into a bun and returned to his desk. When he sat down and looked at his screen he screamed, seeing Sylvain also partaking in a similar skincare routine.

“Felix,” his best friend looked at him with the warmest, sweetest look on his face. “I love you.”

**

Felix logged off at three in the morning in his time zone, nearly falling asleep at his desk. Sylvain gently made him go to bed, promising they’d pick right back up later on.

He knew Ingrid had to be long asleep as well but drafted up a message to her with the early stages of his plans for surprising Felix with a plane ticket. He would have absolutely bought one for himself to go to Germany but knew deep down Felix would want to meet Mama…

_guuuuten Morgen, Ingrid! i know you’re asleep._ _but i was wanting to bring fe in like. the week of christmas? i know he said his dad will be traveling this year and won't be home. : ( but if you guys had plans or traditions, i wouldn't want to impose! i can do whenever, i know his schedule might be more to work around. but... i'm ready! and i hope felix is too. thank you so much for the help in advance <3_

Sylvain wrote out three flights he had in mind from the website on the big pad of paper he kept at his desk. Ideally, Felix could fly in on a Thursday or Friday and then go home the next Sunday. He wanted… as _much_ time as possible they could manage without cutting into his work too much. He figured out the math on the time difference and trip time, soon filling up the page with notes.

His mind wandered to the things they’d do when Felix arrived. Would he want to do touristy things? Sylvain’s city was beautiful as hell this time of year; even corporate buildings had holiday lights and decorations it seemed. He also lived quite close to old historical parts of downtown. Jesus, if he could convince Felix to go on one of the haunted bar crawls… He squirmed in his seat and turned to Mama, who had jumped up on the bed and was snoozing.

“I might actually die from how amazing this is going to be, baby. You’ll have to hold down the fort and run the family business. I’m counting on you.” She sighed as though she understood, rolling over onto her back happily and pawing him for belly rubs. “You’re… useless. Our business will fail. This city will crumble.” He snorted at his stupid sense of humor and gave her a big kiss on her head, spinning back around to his computer and staring at his notes.

What was going to happen when Felix left? Goddess, he hadn’t even _come_ and yet Sylvain was already sick to his stomach thinking about him leaving. How could one week ever be enough time together? He was thankful he had the means to do this for his friend, but… he’d be lying if he told himself he didn’t want a more permanent change.

One of the biggest challenges he considered whenever he thought about them living together or at least living in the same city was who’d relocate. He’d never dream of taking Felix away from his home if that’s not what he wanted, away from Ingrid and his father.

Sylvain anxiously threw himself back up against the back of his chair. These worries were something he was not unfamiliar with. These same questions had been wracking his mind for the last three years. He asked himself at least once a week if he was prepared to pack up his things and move to Germany. Of course he would for Felix, he liked to tell himself, but then he’d think about dinner and holidays with Dimitri and Dedue or walking the beautiful streets of his city. He felt selfish, but the question of moving was an extremely difficult one.

Mama lugged her huge body off the bed and came to his side, sensing his worries. She put her head on his lap and looked up at him with loving eyes, making the redhead get even sappier and emotional than he’d been a moment prior.

“Wanna move to Germany baby girl? We could get you a Dachshund brother!” She sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. You’d eat him.”

Sylvain sat and fretted over hundreds of uncertainties for the next five minutes, petting Mama absentmindedly. When his mind returned to seeing Felix using a face mask, though, he bit his bottom lip and laid his head back on the chair happily, closing his eyes and simply picturing the other’s face. While the vision filled him with happiness and peace of mind, he took advantage of the absence of bad thoughts and crawled into bed to go to sleep. If all went well talking to Ingrid in the morning, he’d have Felix’s ticket bought by lunchtime so they could start planning together.

Sylvain had an uneasy sleep, tossing and turning when his brain decided it was ‘Felix is going to reject your gift and stop talking to you’ o’clock. He woke up in a warm sweat sometime around 5am, jolting straight up in bed, panting. He checked the time on his phone and grunted, tossing it to the end of the mattress and standing up on shaky legs to go turn the heat off. Mama followed him worriedly, half asleep still and padding behind him slowly.

“Why the hell is my mind doing this to me now, on the day when I fucking plan on asking him…” he grumbled to himself, slamming his hand a little harder on the thermostat than he meant to. Waking up angry after nightmares was normal for him, but this one seemed to hit him harder than it should. He wanted to beat his _own_ ass for these stupid thoughts. He knew Felix was going to be happy and excited when he told him about the surprise, even if he initially would be shocked and a bit confused.

 _But, will he?_ _Is he going to be so put off from the idea that he shuts down and thinks I’m a psycho? Do I really not mean as much to him as I thought? Has he been keeping me around as a friend all this time for shits and giggles?_

“God, what the _fuck_?!” Sylvain blinked hot tears out of his eyes as he clenched his fists, resisting the urge to punch the wall. Where in the _actual_ fuck had those thoughts come from?

He once again found himself sliding down the wall to the floor, pulling at his hair in frustration. When Mama whined and put her head in between his arms, he gasped and gently grabbed onto her to stand. She trotted behind him as he hurried into the bathroom, sitting patiently while he opened the medicine cabinet and removed his small daily pill case.

“ _Fuck…_ Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He had somehow missed his anxiety medication for the last three days. That would _fucking_ explain things… He steadied his shaking hands and took one, kicking himself even harder now. He knew something had felt off but had ignored it, despite the feeling that he’d been forgetting something. He promised himself to quit leaving his meds out of sight and to just suck it up and carry them around. “Mama… I should have had you trained as a medical support pooch.”

He shuffled back to bed, still feeling like garbage even when he realized he wasn’t technically at fault for the negative thoughts. He had felt some concerningly strong feelings though about Felix, though, which scared him and made him hate himself. He frustratingly buried his head in his pillow, too embarrassed to try to hash it all out with himself about what had happened. It didn’t matter to him that he had a literal chemical imbalance in his brain, how _dare_ he think those things about his best friend? Who had done _nothing_ to prompt such thoughts and rationalizations? When more tears came, he groaned in agony and stood up. Fuck him, because there was no way he was going back to sleep.

Felix was probably awake by now, but Sylvain refused to let himself call him and bother him. He didn’t want Felix to know about his increasing difficulties with his mental health, and _certainly_ didn’t want to acknowledge he was calling the other because he dreamt that Felix hated him and needed validation that they were still best friends. God, why the fuck were human brains so fucking messy?

Mama hadn’t gotten back into bed, but was instead laying in the doorway expectantly. She knew the drill by now. When dad was up this early, things weren’t good, but she got a walk out of it. Sure enough, Sylvain threw on clothes and hooked her up to her harness. He didn’t bring his phone with him, choosing instead to sulk as he tried to will his bad thoughts away.

Two hours later, Sylvain panted slightly as they climbed the stairs to their floor, wondering how the hell Mama still had energy. His question was answered as soon as he unlocked the door: she took three sips of water and promptly passed out on the hardwood floor in front of her bowl.

His head had mostly cleared after his meltdown, yet lingering self-down and embarrassment still made him flushed. He took a long, boiling shower and masturbated, feeling selfish for imagining coming home to Felix and a hot breakfast. He’d lick the cinnamon roll icing off his dick on the kitchen counter if only he could…

With the towel still wrapped around his waist, he slumped down into his computer chair and woke the system up. He had three unread messenger notifications and six airlines competing for his business in his email. None of them had a better deal, when it came down to it, so he deleted them and moved to Messenger.

 _i saw you and mama out running this morning!! why didn’t you come say hi? : (_ From Dimitri. Sylvain smashed his keys and sent sad smileys.

_i’ll call u later, i’m sorry for me LOL_

He saw one from Felix and hovered over it, only getting a short preview of ‘ _i can’t wait for_ ’ before it cut off. God, did he still feel bad about his thoughts earlier… He put his head in his hands and sighed, trying to steady the ragged breathing that returned to his chest. His body would need a day or two to readjust to his medicine, so he feared this mood might consume him for the rest of the weekend if he allowed it.

Sylvain would go back to Felix’s message. That decision and thought made him feel worse again, so he angrily clicked on Ingrid’s.

_Guten Morgen, Sylvain : ) Dorothea says ‘hallo’! we have xmas tradition but I think this will make Felix a lot happier. This has been a long time coming for the both of you. I think the week of xmas would be perfect. He’s never flown so far (only scotland once when he was smaaaaall boy I think!) but he does not have fear of it. it might be a good idea tho to make his flight at night so he cannot see the water of the ocean. i cant remember if he is afraid of heights LOL._

Sylvain snorted, smiling warmly at Ingrid’s message. He immediately thought of a reply only to the last sentence:

_i’m sure he’s afraid of heights bc he’s shorter than goddamn everything_

She instantly looked at the message and sent back a barrage of laughing crying emojis and skulls. Sylvain snickered, starting to feel better as he chatted with Felix’s closest friend.

_I think it’d be best to buy the tix soon. They will probably be expensive : (_

Sylvain’s chest fluttered. He didn’t like flaunting how much money he had, but…

 _$$ is no object. his ass is getting an aisle seat_!!

_GO GO GO GO GO <3_

Sylvain’s heart thudded in his chest as he went back to the airline’s website to buy the tickets. When he was going to pick Felix’s seat, it skipped a beat when he noticed the last aisle seat for the return trip to Frankfurt had one empty spot beside it.

His brain short circuited.

He blacked out.

Before he knew it, a message on the screen was asking for both passenger’s information. He numbly pulled out his old-fashioned address book from his desk drawer and punched in Felix’s information. He giggled uncontrollably to himself when he entered his info in for passenger two.

Moments later, the website asked him to confirm the payment of over six thousand dollars for both the round trip and one-way tickets. He hit ‘confirm’ as though he were placing another order for food delivery. His phone immediately buzzed with a fraud alert from his bank, so he switched over to another tab and validated it.

It was done.

The ticket—

The _tickets_ were purchased.

Sylvain looked at Mama and let out an enormous sigh of mixed anxiety and relief.

“You’re gonna have a little vacation with Uncle Dima and Uncle Dedue, honey!”

**

Felix opened up his apartment, only four but four extremely packed full grocery bags weighing down his arms. He kicked the door closed with his foot and threw them on the counter, plopping himself down on his couch to catch his breath. He’d lugged his shopping up five flights of stairs since the elevator was broken. Felix was many things, but in shape was not one of them.

It was around two in the afternoon; Felix highly doubted that Sylvain would be awake at eight a.m. on a Saturday. He checked his messenger sheepishly still, looking to see if he’d read his message. A little green circle indicated that he was online though... Felix raised his eyebrow and typed out a new message.

_were you unable to sleep? : (_

Sylvain saw it immediately. Felix smiled softly as the little dots indicated that he was typing.

_yeaaaaaaaaaah : ( had a bad dream; mama and i went for a long ass walk tho and i feel a lot better_

_: ( : ( what was the dream, you can always talk to me_

_i don’t want to bum you out but i promise im ok!! youre too kind to me T__T wanna skype??_

Felix hastily threw the cold food in the fridge and shuffled into his bedroom, shrugging out of his puffy teal jacket and curling himself up in his desk chair. He put on his headset and called Sylvain, who must have also been sitting ready at his computer.

“Moooorning,” smiled Sylvain. Felix frowned in worry when he saw him; his cheeks were pale and he had bags under his eyes. His hair was pulled back with his silly little clips and he was wrapped in a large red blanket in his chair.

“Good morning. You… do not look good, Syl.” When his best friend opened his mouth to retort, he pouted and raised his hands up in gentle surrender. “Please do not be mad at me, I am just a man who worries,” he offered softly. 

Sylvain sighed, tilting his head with the gentlest smile on his face. Felix jumped slightly when he thought he saw tears in his honey colored eyes.

“Syl…?”

“I’ve missed my meds. For like… three days,” admitted Sylvain, face flushed as he looked away from his webcam.

“Ohhh no, Sylvain…” Felix’s heart swelled sadly in his chest, wishing now more than ever he could be by Sylvain’s side to do something, _anything_ to remove that sad look from his face. “I will not scold you; I know that will not help. But, _please_ remember to keep them on you. I do not want you to be out of control my Liebli—my f-friend.”

Felix stammered the last part of the sentence in a haze, acutely aware of his word choice almost too late. He laughed nervously and smiled at Sylvain, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

Sylvain had certainly noticed, but he wasn’t about to let Felix know.

“Well… call me crazy, but I wouldn’t mind doing something lower key today if you wouldn’t mind a break from the game,” Sylvain said softly, wrapping the blanket he had around him tighter across his torso.

“I do not mind what we do. I just want to hang out with you,” Felix smiled widely. “I need to feed the kittens… would you like to watch a film?”

Sylvain’s stomach fluttered in joy. “That sounds amazing. I promise I won’t make you watch _Love, Actually_ again. Not until closer to Christmas, anyway…”

Felix smiled until he put two and two together.

“Verdammt, Ingrid!!” Felix cursed and pouted at Sylvain while his best friend snickered in laughter. He would excuse Ingrid sending that photo of him ugly crying since it made his best friend so happy. He excused himself and went to warm up the kitten’s formula, telling Sylvain to pick a movie. When he returned, he rolled his eyes with an exaggerated sigh at his choice. “ _Die Hard_ is not a Christmas movie, by the way…”

Sylvain gasped; Felix certain that _his_ reaction wasn’t exaggerated. Sylvain had lived by and sworn on this movie for years, probably since they became friends if Felix remembered correctly. He’d always refused to watch it with him on the basic principle Sylvain argued of it being a Christmas film.

“I’ll change your mind, Felix Hugo. Just you fuckin’ wait…”

Sylvain’s use of his middle name made Felix’s entire body blush. He stifled a nervous yelp back down his throat and picked up one of the kittens from the queening box to feed it.

“Start the movie, cowboy,” Felix joked, getting comfortable in his hair and smirking at the webcam.

Throughout the entirety of the film’s two hour and twelve-minute run time, Felix mostly enjoyed Sylvain’s reactions. His best friend knew every single word by heart, was able to place the proper inflection on each one, and could just about recreate the characters’ facial expressions. It was rare that Sylvain recommended a bad movie, but seeing him watch them was more entertaining to Felix by far.

Sylvain took a deep breath as the credits rolled, smiling up at the webcam expectantly.

“Well?”

Felix just chuckled and nodded at his best friend. “I _suppose_ it is a Christmas film.”

Sylvain leaped up from his desk chair in victory, whooping and hollering in celebration as Felix scoffed with a laugh. “I _told you_ , Felix! I! Told! You!” The tall redhead was smiling like an idiot, throwing the blanket he still wore around his shoulders off, revealing his normal shirtless frame. Felix squirmed happily in his desk chair. “Did you _really_ like it?”

“Ja. I did. But you know I would rather watch all films with a Sylvain commentary,” Felix smiled, relishing in the sheer happiness pulsing off of Sylvain’s face. Felix got an email suddenly and went to click over to the tab with his account loaded up, but Sylvain yelped in excitement.

“H-Hold on, buddy. That… was from me. But I need to do something first. Can you promise me you’ll wait a second?”

Felix cocked his eyebrow at Sylvain but nodded. What the hell was he up to?

“Phew! I’ll be right back. Please, please, _pleaseee_ wait for me to get back before you read that! Here, talk to Mama,” smiled Sylvain, pushing his fancy monitor down so the webcam had a better view of the pup on her bed.

“That is all you had to say. Leave us alone, we have important business to discuss,” Felix said playfully, waving his hand flippantly to dismiss Sylvain with a laugh.

“Ouch!”

Sylvain’s stomach dropped as he darted away to his bathroom, hands shook as he goofily grabbed the bottle of hair gel from the linen closet. He tried to steady his breathing and talk himself off the cliff he so precariously stood upon, repeating quietly: “he’s your best friend and will be happy, he’s your best friend and will be happy, he’s your best friend and will be happy.” He tried to remember how his father used to slick his hair back when he was younger, but ended up just coming it back and praying to the Goddess he didn’t look stupid.

He tiptoed into his closet and hastened into his nicest suit, silently lamenting his boutonniere he’d worn the last time he donned it had been real. Now he just looked plain and silly without one.

Well, if he was being honest, dressing up this way to mock a prom-esque proposal for Felix to join him in his city for Christmas was pretty silly, but Ingrid had given him the idea and he just couldn’t turn it down.

He looked in the mirror that hung over his closet door and readied himself. He’d wanted to wait until that evening, but the anxiety and excitement, he believed, were actually taking years off his life. With one final deep breath he returned to his desk, where he could hear Felix cooing lovingly at his dog. She just sat there panting happily, turning around to see Sylvain and woofing.

“Okay, what is this damn e-mail you send to me—” Felix had almost clicked over to the tab when he saw Sylvain returning the monitors to their normal orientation. His mouth dropped open when he saw him dressed quite literally to the nines, palms going clammy at his slicked back hair and crisp black suit.

“S-Sylvain?”

Sylvain took a deep breath. “Hold off on going to your e-mail. There’s something I want to say first.” Goddess fucking above, he wasn’t _proposing_ … He had to mentally slap himself to get himself back in the right frame of mind. “We’ve been friends for… a very _long_ seven years, Felix. I could stand here, in my very prettiest suit,” Felix laughed in a manic, very obviously nervous way, “and list off the reasons why you’re my best friend, excuses as to why we haven’t met before now… But you know all that. You know our story just as well as I do.

“But I’ll be damned if this moment isn’t special. This has been a long time coming, and I think we both deserve it. I want you to remember this silly, over-the-top thing I’m about to do, even if you hate me afterwards and no longer wish to be my friend.” Sylvain snuck in a wink and felt his blood coursing through his veins in excitement as Felix’s hands flew to his mouth in uncertainty.

“I want you to join me here this year for Christmas. I want to finally see you, stay up stupidly late playing video games together, watch movies and just recite them word for word, all in person... with you _here_.” Sylvain started to tear up as Felix screamed; he couldn’t immediately tell if it was in excitement or fear. Felix ripped off his headset though so he wasn’t shouting directly into the mic, hands _ripping_ at his hair and arms as he shook.

“S-SYLVAIN—You—”

He could tell now Felix was crying. Damn, if Sylvain thought he was emotional about the dinner he bought him, that _paled_ in comparison to the look on his face now.

“You… you cannot be serious—you didn’t—y-you _could not_ —” Felix turned away slightly to sob into the crook of his arm, heart pounding so furiously against his ribcage he thought he might pass out.

This _fucking_ idiot, his idiot best friend, who’s heart was infinitely bigger than his _stupid brain_ , could not have done what Felix thought he did. There was no way.

There was. No way.

There was quite possibly no _fucking_ way—

“Check your e-mail, Fe!” Sylvain choked out through a sob, smiling stupidly and slamming the back of his hand over his cheek to swat away tears. “Do it before I pass out!”

Felix’s arm was very visibly trembling as he put his hand on his mouse to go to the next tab, clicking on the unread message.

_Your confirmed flight itinerary for Friday, December 20 th_

“Sylvain…” Felix’s mind went fuzzy as he fell down into his desk chair, chest heaving with silent sobs as he looked up into his webcam. He had never cried this hard before in front of _anyone_ , not even when Glenn died. He doubted he had even been capable of so much expression of his emotions—up until now, anyway. He achingly pressed his face into his fists, desperately attempting to regain enough composure so he could just _say_ something. But each time he did, a new wave of-- he couldn’t even formulate a word for how he felt—shot up from his chest. When he peered up and saw Sylvain crying too, patiently waiting for him to respond, he pathetically keened and hid his face once more.

“I—am… s-sorry, I cannot t-talking right now, S-Sylvain, I—” he forced himself to speak through his sobs, pulling his shirt up haphazardly to wipe off his face. How did he have enough fluid left in his body to cry out? He felt as though he’d lost buckets in such a short amount of time.

“Take your t-time, Fe,” Sylvain mumbled happily, gently sitting down at his own chair and slamming tissues onto his face.

“I,” Felix hiccupped, “can _not_ believe you are surprising me in this w-way, Sylvain,” he stumbled on his words, forcing himself to stop and take a few deep breaths before he continued. “You know I hate when you are spending your money on me—”

“Don’t… even let that be a thing you worry about, Fe,” Sylvain replied gently, chucking his tissues into the trash and sniffling.

“I _know_ , I know. But. My answer is yes. I mean I know you _bought_ them already but—”

“Felix!” Sylvain shot back up to his feet and held his monitor by the sides. “You’ll come?! For real?!”

Felix shrieked into the crook of his arm and nodded furiously. Goddamn this stupid fucking moron, the man Felix loved more than anyone else in the entire world, goddamn him—“Ja, you fucking—you fucking _Sylvain_!”

He watched as his best friend jumped up and down excitement, twitching when his strong, powerful arms scooped up his 110-pound dog like she weightless. Mama licked his face happily, not sure what her dad was excited about, but keen to join in anyways.

“He’s coming, Mama! Felix is coming to see us!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING  
> Twitter: @15x210 and @setethstiddies!


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’d been a week since Sylvain had surprised him with the trip of a lifetime: the opportunity for Felix to visit him in his city after seven years of long-distance friendship. Felix had never in a million years thought he’d be able to, since his job and living expenses made it difficult to save up large sums of money. It was always a far-off, nearly unattainable goal that he could only pine achingly for. But now, thanks to his best friend (and secretly the love of his life), his dream was coming true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall. This has been my project for DAYS... and I ended up cutting it because it was just... getting too long LOL. This will not be 5 parts instead of four. Maybe get tissues?? idk I cried like 3 times writing this LOL.   
> huge thank you to Echo, for this fic would not be possible without her. and to all of my friends who support me, I love you!

_syl_ _♡_ _Incoming FaceTime Call_

Felix bounced happily on his desk chair and swiped his finger over the accept button, already smiling like a fool at the front-facing camera on his phone. He glanced over to make sure his office door was shut.

“Hiiiiii Fe!” his best friend greeted him, inserting his headphones into his ears and holding his phone further away from his face. He was in his car, the early morning sky still dark in the background.

“Are you going to work?”

“Unfortunately. But I’m putting in my time off for your visit today! They can’t have me while you’re going to be here,” Sylvain laughed, his deep voice warming Felix’s skin. He covered his mouth in excitement and nodded happily, still unable to keep little tears from forming in his eyes at the idea.

It’d been a week since Sylvain had surprised him with the trip of a lifetime: the opportunity for Felix to visit him in his city after seven years of long-distance friendship. Felix had never in a million years thought he’d be able to, since his job and living expenses made it difficult to save up large sums of money. It was always a far-off, nearly unattainable goal that he could only pine achingly for. But now, thanks to his best friend (and secretly the love of his life), his dream was coming true.

“I knew I could have just texted you what I wanted to ask, but damn it… I’m so excited to see you and hear you in person!” Felix showed himself burying his face into his arm on the top of his desk, squirming happily in his chair.

“You make me blush, shut up,” he chuckled, gazing back up at his phone. “What did you need to be asking me?”

“Well, since you’re gonna be here a while,” Sylvain smiled, with a tint to his cheeks Felix slowly began to notice, “I want to get you some snacks! Is there anything you want that you can’t get regularly at home?”

“Flaming Hot Cheetos. And, for the love of _God_ , Reese’s Cups. Sylvain, _please_.”

He responded so quickly and so desperately, Sylvain couldn’t help but snort with laughter, hiding in the crook of his arm as his torso shook. “Don’t laughs at me!!” Felix begged, making his stomach flutter happily.

“You got it, Fe: Flaming Hot Cheetos and Reese’s. And I know you like spicy stuff so I’ll see what they got and just go ham. Your snack palace awaits.”

Felix clutched his leg below the desk happily as they chatted before Sylvain left for work, blindsided by the Facetime call but now ecstatic at the pleasant surprise. Sylvain still had a deep sleepiness to his voice, his hair still stood up around the crown of his head as though he hadn’t bothered to brush it, even if Felix knew he did. He was leaned back in the driver’s seat of his car casually, eyes very sexily half-lidded in relaxation. Felix could absolutely watch him for hours, enticed by how he moved himself even in simple ways.

“Well… traffic is going to start picking up soon,” the redhead pouted, moving his head slightly and letting the rising sun into the frame. Felix pouted but nodded, waving softly at the camera in goodbye. “I’ll talk to you later, Fe. Give those kittens a kiss for me!”

“Tschüss! Get lots of work done.”

“I won’t! Byeeeeee!”

**

_(eggplant emoji)_ _♡_ _Felix_ _♡_ _(eggplant emoji) Incoming FaceTime Call_

“Felix, it’s like…” Sylvain checked the time in the bottom corner of his computer monitor. “Four a.m. where you are! Go to bed!?”

“Sylvain… I cannot. I am too excited.” Felix swapped the camera and showed Sylvain his bed, where his suitcase was open with all six of his foster kittens crawling around inside. “And the babies are too. They said they won’t even miss me. Look how big they’re getting, by the ways!!”

Sylvain fell happily back against his desk chair, smiling weakly at the camera. Their Facetimes had increased from once a day to two or three, calling each other for even the smallest, most mundane thing. It didn’t lessen their excitement though, and was probably only making things worse for them.

Felix was wearing Sylvain’s most favorite shirt: one he’d bought and sent him two years prior from the video game convention he went to every year. His stomach did a backflip in his abdomen watching how it slipped down over his shoulder slightly (he’d bought it big for extra coziness).

“What in the hells do I pack. You say it is cold sometimes there but then sometimes it is not? And you run the air conditioning on Christmas?!” Felix had walked into his closet and was staring at his winter gear in worry.

“Pack pants. But like… also bring layers for tops. You might sweat if you’re always wearing a turtleneck,” he teased with a grin, watching his best friend’s face as he processed the jab at his style.

“My turtlenecks make me look _very_ sexy, Sylvain. You do not understand European fashion.” The younger man hopelessly scanned his shirts and then pouted at Sylvain. “I might need to shop when I get there.”

“I’ll make sure you look like an absolute stud, Fe!”

**

Sylvain sat at Dedue and Dimitri’s kitchen table, head in his hands and his third glass of wine empty beside him.

“Dimitri. What. If he hates me.”

“Sylvain Jose, my _god_ …”

“What if after all this, he finally meets me and thinks my face looks fucking weird? Or the way I snore sometimes is unbearable? I’m a trout, man, you _know_ I sweat in my sleep—”

“Sylvain. I can assure you that your friend is not going to be so wrapped up in your made-up issues,” Dedue said calmly, patting his shoulder reassuringly and taking his glass away. He shot Sylvain a firm but kind look when he raised his head to ask for one more. “From how you have spoken of him, I truly feel as though he may confess his feelings for you.”

“Dedueeeee, nooooo… Felix is _way_ too good for me. And I’m going to have to watch him stay with me for a week and a half, fall in love with him all over again, and then follow him on the plane back to Germany knowing it’ll just be as friends.”

“Sylvain, dear,” Dimitri took his hand in his and squeezed it before pinching his cheek (“OW!”). “Stop it. Even if, by some astronomical chance this isn’t a life-changing, soul-realizing trip for you both… do you really believe there is anything you could do that would change Felix’s mind about you?”

Sylvain looked at Dimitri with his head tilted and his eyebrow cocked knowingly. “My ten-mile long list of baggage and emotional trauma isn’t going to help.” He sighed and looked sadly at his friends, shoulders drooping in sorrow. “I’m sorry, guys… this isn’t why I came over; I didn’t want to dump all of this _shit_ on you…”

“Sylvain, we’re your friends. We’re here for you, good and bad. Just like we know Felix will be.” He was pulled into Dimitri’s chest in a hug, followed by Dedue engulfing them both into a warm group embrace.

They finished their dinner and moved into the living room so Dimitri could play with Mama, which Sylvain insisted was the real reason he was invited over. He once again had her curled up in his arms and was carrying her around the space, showing her pictures of Sylvain when he was younger.

**

"Felix, mach auf! Ich hab Essen und es wird kalt!" Ingrid had called Felix to let him know she was bringing dinner by on the last night before his trip.

She was greeted by a near-frantic Felix, who yanked her inside and slammed the door shut before grabbing her shoulders.

"Ingrid. Ich fliege MORGEN. Ich schiebe verdammt nochmal grade Panik."

His closest friend bounced on the balls of her feet excitedly and set the bag with their dinner inside down on the counter before hugging him.

"Felix, ich freu mich so sehr für dich. Es ist so schön, dass du ihn nach all der Zeit endlich treffen kannst."

"Ja, aber wie soll ich denn bitte ohne ihn zurück kommen?" Thinking about having to come back without Sylvain sent ice through his chest right to his heart.

The blonde looked up into his eyes and smiled, clasping his hands in her own. Sylvain had told her about his surprise return trip to come see Felix in his city but had sworn total secrecy. As she squeezed Felix’s hands in comfort, her heart pumped happily in her chest knowing what was to come.

"Es wird nicht leicht sein, Felix. Aber zumindest bekommst du die Chance ihn zu sehen."

He nodded sadly and took a deep breath. "Kannst du mich morgen immer noch zum Flughafen bringen?"

"Natürlich, das ist gar kein Problem. Dorothea kommt auch mit, um dich zu verabschieden."

"Danke. Ich bin mir sicher ihr beiden werdet mich noch mal so richtig ärgern, bevor ich die Reise mache, die mein Leben verändern und gleichzeitig ruinieren wird,” he laughed softly, grabbing their dinner and bringing it into the kitchen to serve. Ingrid giggled and patted his shoulder. It wouldn’t be Ingrid if she didn’t roast the hell out of him every chance she got…

"Wenn wir dich nicht ärgern, dann wird Sylvain dich einfach kaputt machen, wenn er dich ganz für sich alleine hat!"

Felix flushed, hands trembling slightly as he unpacked the food. He felt embarrassed by it, but he’d already started dreading having to return home. He lamented the need for sleep when he thought about the fact that he’d be _inside_ Sylvain’s apartment, no more than a few feet away from him for an entire week and a half. The thought made him want to cry out of happiness and anger, knowing it was going to quickly become more than he could stand. Even if Sylvain made it clear they were just friends, Felix already didn’t want to leave his side.

He went to bed later that night tossing and turning, wholly unable to even attempt sleep. He looked at the clock and saw that it was still only nine in Sylvain’s time zone. With quivering fingers, he pulled his phone to his face and dialed him in a regular call. It rung only once before his best friend’s voice happily answered.

“Hey, Fe! It’s a bit late where you are,” he chuckled softly. Felix closed his eyes in happiness, hearing his voice in the darkness of his bedroom instantly soothing him. He was quiet for a moment, fighting to decide what he wanted to say first.

“Hi. I could not sleep...” He stumbled over his words, feeling as though he were watching himself say them. He could hear Mama’s nails tapping on the other end of the line. “Are you walking Mama?”

“Yep! We’re on our fourth mile because I know I won’t be able to sleep either unless I’m pushed to the point of passing out.”

“Sylvain!” Felix clutched his phone and the covers near his chin. “Go home and get some rest! Do not push yourself too hard…”

“You’re one to talk!” Felix could hear the grin on his best friend’s voice, making him blush in excitement. “Did you bring the kittens back to the shelter today?”

“No! Ingrid and her girlfriend Dorothea will be taking care of them! I did not want to bring them back there. It can be loud and they are used to the quiet of my apartment,” Felix said happily, sitting up and peeking over at their box. The little orange one was meowing, surely on track to wake up their littermates.

“Are you still thinking about adopting one?”

Felix squirmed on his bed and made a noncommittal sound with his mouth. He wanted to keep them all but knew having six cats at once would get him kicked out of his apartment. But a newfound form of crazy had entered his headspace as of late, daydreaming almost daily about moving to Sylvain’s city. He had been working towards getting his visa for a possible extended stay before he surprised him with the trip, but hadn’t mentioned it to his best friend in case it didn’t end up happening.

“Maybe. I will have to think about it after my trip…”

He could have sworn he heard Sylvain gasp a little as he rolled over to his side. Feeling happy yet desperately alone, he shoved his hand down into his pants and gently rubbed his thighs and groin. He listened to Sylvain talk about how excited he was, how he’d taken the time off work and had then been assigned a business trip immediately after. The other’s slightly increased breathing as he and Mama turned around to go home filled his ears deliciously as he selfishly indulged himself with it.

“Here, baby,” he heard Sylvain say lovingly to Mama as he gave her fresh water when they got back to his apartment. The phrase was music to Felix’s ears and the final push into ecstasy that he needed, pumping his cock quickly in silence before coming into his hand.

“Well, you sound sleepy,” Sylvain laughed at the quiet from Felix’s end. “You need to get some sleep, boo. Call me tomorrow before you get on the p-plane!” Felix noticed his excited tone that resulted in his voice shaking.

“I will, mein Liebling,” replied Felix, who was so used to calling his best friend the endearing term at this point he could care less if he knew the implication. “Sylvain, it’s finally happening.”

Sylvain took a deep breath. “After all this time, I’ll finally get to _see_ you. Felix, I’m—” Another deep breath. “I’m so ready and excited to have you here with me.”

**

Sylvain sat at his desk in his office, eyes on his screen but his mind miles away. He knew better than to have taken today off, because he’d be at home going out of his mind otherwise. At least at the office, he had things he could pretend to do while he sat in agony. He’d already completed four analyses that morning, proofread them, and had emailed them back to his boss. It was barely 10:30. He kept checking his phone for a message from Felix, knowing he’d be on his way to the airport soon if he wasn’t there already.

If everything went to plan, he’d be landing late that evening.

The redhead anxiously stood up and grabbed his phone to take a quick walk, needing to get some of his energy out before he did something insane like offering to do more work for his boss. He took the stairs from his office on the fifteenth floor all the way down to the first, hands jittering in excitement.

Once outside, he checked Mama’s baby camera-esque application on his phone and talked to her for a minute. Although she stayed asleep throughout the entire interaction, it made him feel a bit more at ease after rambling to her.

Sylvain slipped his phone in his pocket and walked down the slightly icy street in front of his office building, looking at the cheery holiday décor around him with a smile. He knew there was a Christmas market somewhere nearby, wanting to bring Felix here so he could see how beautiful it all was. He glanced back up at his building and pulled his phone back out to text his boss.

_taking a walk brb_

He smirked when he got an immediate response:

_take as long as you want but bring me back a slurpee and pizza from 7-eleven_

Sylvain snapped quick pictures of the places he wanted to return to, knowing that in the moment with Felix he’d be a blustering, confused mess. He happily noticed a German food stand in the market, wondering the look on his best friend’s face would be when he suggested they eat there. This area alone could occupy them for hours, and he was so excited to explore with him.

_(eggplant emoji)_ _♡_ _Felix_ _♡_ _(eggplant emoji) incoming FaceTime call_

Sylvain yelped and quickly answered his phone, nearly dropping it to the ground in excitement. “Fe! Hi Ingrid!”

Felix and Ingrid waved at the phone to him faces pressed together as they stood side by side in the Frankfurt airport. Another dark-haired woman stood behind them, smiling widely.

“Hallo Sylvain! You better be taking care of my Felix,” Ingrid threatened, her face going to dead-pan seriousness in seconds. Sylvain flushed and laughed, nodding quickly in agreement.

“I will take the _very_ best care of him, Ingrid! He’s not going to want to come home.”

He was too busy looking between Felix and Ingrid to notice that his best friend’s ‘heart visibly just skipped a beat’ look on his face as he blushed. He missed Felix recovering from the comment, and only saw the resulting smile that warmed him from his feet to his fingers.

“I’m about to leave. The plane leaves in about an hour, so I should be there around...” he waved his hand around flippantly. “You know when. You’re not going to make me navigate my way to your home, are you?” Felix asked with a smirk.

“Felix, _please_ , the only reason I’m not at the airport already is because there’s nowhere comfortable to sit for that long. Be safe. Don’t talk to strangers,” smiled Sylvain, chest tightening the more he looked at Felix’s face. He seemed anxious, anxious but happy, based on how he knew the other’s face reacted after having looked at it through a screen for the last seven years. He wanted to reach through that screen and touch him, hug him, kiss him, anything he could do to get through to him just how happy he was. He bit his lip excitedly as he waved at them all, not risking any knowing glances or winks to Ingrid.

“I won’t. See you soon, mein Liebling,” Felix muttered joyfully, ending the call with one more smile at Sylvain.

The redhead finally breathed, running his fingers through his hair before yelling out loud in excitement. He moved himself to a bench and immediately called Dimitri.

“Dima. He’s at the airport.”

“Goodness, that is wonderful news, Sylvain. Dimitri is currently looking at adoptable dogs. He screamed at me to answer his phone.” Sylvain was surprised but smiled when Dedue spoke to him.

“I did _not,_ dear, let me speak to him!”

“He has changed his mind. I suppose he will shout at you too, so please ready your ears, Sylvain.”

“Dedue Molinaro, I swear to the goddess—Sylvain! You said he’s at the airport now? When should he be getting in?”

“Later on, tonight.”

“How in the hell are you going to last until then?”

“I’ve been waiting seven years, Blaiddyd! Surely a few more hours won’t hurt?”

Sylvain was ready to throw himself out of his office window by noon. Anything to end the hollow yet extremely full feeling in his stomach, anything to end the incessant tapping of his pen against his desk. He had started sending Felix messages earlier in the day before the other had to put his phone in airplane mode, forgot that fact, and hadn’t stopped. He told him everywhere he wanted to take him, asked him how his neighbors in the air were. He sent him selfie after selfie, most of them exaggerations to his excitement for his arrival and his boredom at work.

As the minutes ticked on, it truly started to sink in what was happening. Felix Fraldarius, his best friend for nearly a decade, was on his way to him. His physical being was mere hours away from being beside him; he’d get to hear his laugh, hear him breathe, hear his deep voice. Just the thought of listening to his voice coming from his body and not through speakers made Sylvain feel like an emptiness he didn’t realize he had was slowly starting to fill.

A message popped up on his computer from his boss, bringing him back out of his thoughts.

_Head out, Gautier. See you after your trip. : )_

Leaving early was both a blessing and a curse, but Sylvain sent a sincere ‘thank you’ and packed up his things to leave. He nearly ran out to his car and threw everything in the trunk, sitting down quietly after and locking the doors. He steadied his breathing and pulled out his phone to look through Felix’s social media, nearly having to pinch himself to make sure he was awake. He’d posted a picture of himself, Ingrid, and Dorothea in the airport with a small smile on his face, a German status stating he was bound for the US. Sylvain squeezed his eyes shut tight after reacting to the post with a heart, hands trembling around his phone.

When he got back to his apartment, Mama greeted him happily but quickly disappeared to the bed, sighing heavily upon it. Sylvain knew the quickest way to even remotely get time to move faster was to nap, so he removed his suit, set an alarm for six p.m., and fell face first into the sheets for the power nap of a lifetime.

When he awoke, he sat up in a crazed panic and lunged himself off the bed, fretting over the time when in reality, he still had three hours until Felix was supposed to land. It didn’t matter. He knew he couldn’t just sit around in the apartment, so he took a shower, shaved every last inch of his body (you know, just in _case_ ), and attempted to style his hair.

“What in the fuck do I wear to this, Mama?” he stared at his closet in intimidation. He didn’t want Felix to think his arrival wasn’t one of the biggest moments of his life, so he moved on from his casual clothes to his fancier stuff. Stuff his mother had bought him when they had set him up on matchmaking dates with his father’s business partners’ daughters. He made a face and grabbed a long-sleeved black button up shit and teal pants, because _why not_ , and slipped his feet into his kind of fancy, but ‘wouldn’t wear them to the benefit dinner or anything’ shoes.

“Mama. I’m… coming back with Felix.” He stared down at his pup and immediately got lightheaded, placing his head in his hands to steady himself. “When I come back here, he’ll be with me.” He looked up into the mirror hanging by the front door in surprise to see tears in his eyes, his cheeks turning red at the prospect. He allowed himself a moment, remembering all the times as a kid when he cried and his father questioned his masculinity. Sylvain sniffled into his sleeve, stomach growing tighter when he thought about his best friend.

Mama padded over and shoved her big head under his hand, wiggling her tail and behind happily as she looked up at him. He chuckled, a blubbering mess, leaning down to kiss her before straightening himself up and grabbing a tissue. He laughed at himself in the mirror and shook his head, blowing his bangs out of his eyes.

He gripped the steering wheel like an elderly person the entire drive to the airport, windows rolled down in the car so he didn’t sweat. It was snowing very gently; he hoped it would stay so Felix would be greeted with the gorgeous view. He parked, physically ripped himself from the driver’s seat, and went inside to wait.

**

Felix thumbed through the silly notebook he’d brought with himself, scanning the pages of things he’d written down to tell Sylvain throughout the flight. He hadn’t wanted to forget a single detail of the trip, so the notepad was going to be his physical record of every amazing little thing that happened. He was quite proud of his handwriting, knowing Sylvain would appreciate his use of full sentences to really capture the feeling and emotion of being jabbed repeatedly in the side when his neighbor had to get up to use the restroom.

He put it back in his bag and bounced his leg anxiously, eyeing the monitor on the back of the seat in front of him. According to the map, they only had thirty minutes until they touched down. Felix knew he wanted to cry, but didn’t know if that’d come before or after the last-minute self-doubt and hatred that engulfed him. Thoughts such as: ‘how dare you fall in love with someone who lives across the world and only thinks of you as a friend?’ threatened to turn his happy tears into ones of an oncoming panic attack. He pulled out his pen and flipped to the back of the pad, where he thought he’d forget about this note altogether. He just had to get it out.

_I am afraid that you do not love me the same way that I love you. My heart will break though, not because you don’t love me back. But only after constant reminders that I’m not by your side from the moment I leave until that day comes that I can see you again._

He drew angry and sad faces around the writing, sighing and resigning it to his bag. He looked over from his aisle seat and attempted to gaze out the window, his stomach dropping in excitement when he saw signs of land. They were still far out enough in the country that there wasn’t much light, illuminating the stars in the sky beautifully. A very light snow coated the landscape, making Felix wish he’d been in the window so he could take pictures.

Back on the ground, he had no way of knowing Sylvain had been sitting at the airport for three hours. Nor that he’d gotten up to buy a soda from one of the newsstands, saw flowers, and, out of habit for bringing everyone flowers for the entirety of his life at the airport, bought a gigantic bouquet of red roses without a second thought. He had no idea of knowing that Sylvain was currently staring at those flowers with a pit in his stomach the likes of which he’d never seen, which was saying something considering how anxious he was for the meeting about to take place.

“Welcome to the United States of America…”

“Willkommen in den Vereinigten Staaten…”

Felix gasped audibly and had to hold his mouth over his hand to fight a scream, a numbness overtaking his body starting at his toes. He closed his eyes and took multiple deep breaths, attempting to pay attention to where his luggage was going to be when they landed. It was no use. Sylvain was waiting for him on the ground, and he could care less if his entire suitcase got lost.

As they landed, he couldn’t help but let a few sparse tears fall down his cheeks. He’d never flown such a distance before, but it was all worth it. When the plane parked at the gate, he sat eerily calmly in his seat and turned his phone back on. He cried some more when he saw Sylvain’s slew of messages, saving each photo he’d sent. His hands trembled roughly around his phone, so Felix pinched himself to calm down.

_I’m here. We are at gate. Baggage is at i7, I think._

_just saw your flight number on the screen!!! i can’t wait!!_

_sylvain. im crying on the plane. people are staring LOL_

_i just want to get up. i haven’t moved in hrs!!!!!!!!_

_goddamn. people won’t stop standing and shoving. pls kill me_

_hang in there fe!!!!! i’m waiting right outside the escalators for u!!!!!_

When he stood up, he nearly passed out from being lightheaded. The attendant handed him his duffle bag from the overhead bin and motioned for him to move, but his feet and legs felt like they weighed tons.

“Entschuldigung, danke…” he muttered, forcing himself to go forward and head for the exit. He nearly ran up the jet bridge, freezing once more once he stepped out. The terminal was extremely busy even at this time of night. He pulled up the little map printed on the back of his ticket, peering down to see which way customs was. He put in his headphones so he could focus and set off.

_it is hotter than seven hells in this airport, syl : ( and i wore short sleeves shirt!!_

_ill throw u out in the snow when you get here!!!! <3_

Felix stepped onto the train that would take him to his destination and smiled like a fool, sending him back a single snowman emoji. He stood with his hand nearly molded against the handrail, eyes staring at the marquee that showed where the train was in the underground. His heart pounded viciously in his chest, threatening once again to make the tears fall.

Sylvain stood in the middle of the reception area, pacing slightly as he waited to see Felix coming up from the train. More than once, he jerked his body towards the bathroom so he could go throw up—but what if he missed him?

_going thru customssssssssssssssss this lady called me baby?????_

Sylvain laughed, feeling his cheeks growing wet as he read Felix’s liveblog of his first time in US customs.

_im wearing the convention shirt. i think im almost there_

Sylvain swatted the tears off his cheeks and manically pushed himself to the front of the crowd of people, heart pounding so loudly in his ears he could hardly hear anything else. He gripped the bouquet in his hands hard enough to prick himself with a thorn.

_this is. the longest escalator in the history of the world._

Sylvain nearly screamed, eyes shooting to the crowd of people getting off of it in front of him. All he could see was that space, waiting for Felix to appear.

Felix tore out of the train as soon as it opened, seeing the flow of people heading for the escalators. He held on tight to his bag and took off, his chest burning as he pushed through people as politely as he could. He was unable to run past them once on it because there were so many others, so he pulled out his phone and just slammed his fingers across the keys.

As the escalator neared the end of the track, Felix started craning his neck, desperately scanning for that head of bright red hair. His breath rattled his chest, hands shaking on the handrail.

“Syl… Syl, where are you…” he mumbled, bouncing slightly as the people immediately in front of him stepped off.

“FELIX!”

The navy haired man’s face shot to the right, eyes welling up as they locked on to a tall doofus swinging around a… bouquet of roses? Felix blacked out for the three seconds it took him to get to Sylvain (he was running at him too), throwing his duffle bag off his chest and jumping up against his arms. The other nearly sent him to the floor after he stumbled and tripped in his excitement, something between a sob and a laugh bellowing out of him. His best friend caught him and secured his hands under his ass to hold him up, spinning him around in abject joy.

Neither could be embarrassed by their tears, for they both sobbed into each other’s shoulders as they hugged. Felix was slow to slide down to his feet, never wanting to leave this moment for the rest of my life. Sylvain grabbed him and squeezed every inch of him he could, as though he were checking to see if Felix was real. Time slowed; they could have been standing there for thirty minutes or thirty seconds, it all felt the same.

Sylvain held Felix at half an arm’s length away, sniffling pathetically and laughing as Felix cried too.

“Felix—” His bottom lip quivered and he wrapped him up in his arms again, nuzzling his nose into his hair and embracing him. He placed his head down on the other’s and sucked in some tears.

“I’m here, Syl. I’m here, thanks to you.” The shorter man sobbed against him and gripped the back of his shirt, thinking the only thing better at that point would be to just dissolve into each other.

“A-are you hungry? Can I get you some food, Fe?” Sylvain chuckled through another round of tears, not letting go of Felix’s shoulders. He’d squeeze him every few words, still needing that constant reassurance that he was _here_ , standing _next_ to him. “Oh yeah… and these are for you.” He didn’t hold back his blush as he picked up the bouquet and handed it to Felix, smiling sheepishly.

“Danke, they are beautiful,” Felix sniffled, holding them close to his chest. He screamed softly and set them down to jump into Sylvain’s arms again, laughing happily when he caught him as though it were second nature. He was held at such an angle so he could look directly into Sylvain’s eyes, melting him from his very core. He nervously reached out a hand to his face and gently placed it on his cheek, a look of pure shock and amazement furrowing his eyebrows. “Sylvain. After all this time, I—” Felix visibly struggled with what to say. The redhead gently set him back down on the ground and just held him close, putting every ounce of love into it that he could.

“We’ve got time, Fe. We’ve got all the time we want.”

Sylvain kept his arm around Felix all the way to the baggage carousel, unable to take his eyes off him for more than a few seconds to navigate. He laughed as Felix told him about his flight and his notebook, ecstatic to get in the car so he could read it to him. When his best friend pointed out his luggage, he grabbed it swiftly off the belt and extended the handle to pull it for him.

“I’ve got it, Syl—”

“Please, let me,” smiled Sylvain, motioning towards the door. “C’mon.”

Felix couldn’t help but lean into Sylvain’s chest as he walked him to his car, giving in at one point and wrapping his arm around his waist. The other didn’t protest, almost illuminating when they got closer together. It was chilly outside, but Felix breathed a deep sigh of relief and closed his eyes when the breeze swept over his bare arms.

Felix twitched slightly when he saw Sylvain unlock a brand fucking new, extremely shiny Mercedes SUV, a slutty desire to spread his ass cheeks on the hood quickly shooting up from the darkest recesses of his mind.

“Here, lemme have your bag,” he offered with a smile to Felix, holding his hand out for his duffle after putting the other in the backseat.

“I don’t feel like I’m dressed nice enough to ride in your car, Syl,” Felix joked, looking down at his oversized shirt and Adidas track pants and then at the black leather interior.

“Psssh. Mama slobbers all over that leather. Mama don’t give a fuck and neither should you,” he smirked, opening the door for his best friend and bowing him inside. Felix climbed up and buckled himself in, following Sylvain as he walked around to get in the driver’s seat.

Felix didn’t care if Sylvain was showing off, but his driving made him horny in ways he’d not yet experienced. He’d never ridden in an SUV before, but seeing the other commanding it like one would a steed made his head woozy and his pants tighter.

He was given a quick tour of the city as Sylvain drove. He pointed out historical sites, places where he’d been drunk beyond any discernible reason, and his favorite restaurants.

“It’s kinda late… but would you want to run through the park real quick? There’s super nice lights set up right now!”

“I do not care where you take me. I just want to be with you,” Felix said happily, hand inadvertently reaching across the console to take Sylvain’s. He gasped and quickly retreated it, looking out the window in quiet embarrassment.

Sylvain took a right and Felix’s eyes shot open in amazement at the scene before him. The park had one road that went down the middle, where a few cars were driving through. Every tree, bush, lamppost, and bench had been adorned with lights. Sylvain smiled at Felix and rolled down the windows, allowing him to hear the music that they were programmed to blink in time with.

Felix was taken by the display, but couldn’t help but look over at the other every few seconds. Sylvain’s honey colored eyes shone with the reflection of the lights in them. Felix hoped he didn’t notice him staring.

Sylvain absolutely noticed, only because he too was darting frantically between Felix and the view. He already had the most beautiful thing in the world sitting next to him, the lights were just a gratuitous bonus.

“This is so beautiful…” Felix muttered softly, eyes the size of saucers as he nearly hung out the window.

“It’s even better with you,” he heard Sylvain say quietly.

**

“Mama might knock you on your ass. Brace yourself…”

Sylvain unlocked his front door and steadied his feet, expecting his 110lb dog to come stampeding through the apartment to greet them. When he couldn’t hear her, he flipped the light on and jumped when he saw her patiently waiting in the front hallway.

“Maaaammaaaaa… oh mein Gott…” Felix fell to his knees in front of her, taking the soft rolls on the side of her head into his hands gently and squeezing as he kissed her nose. “Sylvain! Mama!”

Sylvain leaned up against the doorway and discretely recorded their interaction, feeling lightheaded when Mama rolled onto her back for Felix to rub her belly. He snorted when his best friend lay down beside her, laughing softly as she put her gigantic paw on his shoulder. He joined them on the floor and just stared at Felix, mind still not quite settled down from having him so near.

It was pushing midnight now, but the last thing either of them wanted to do was sleep. Felix sat at the high counter in Sylvain’s kitchen, watching his every move as he bustled around making hot chocolate for them.

“You can _obviously_ help yourself to anything in here,” the redhead said, pouring milk into the small pot on the stove to heat it. “But your snack paradise is in here,” he smiled, opening a cabinet behind him to reveal shelves of Felix’s favorite snacks and candy.

“You’re a goddamn saint,” Felix cried, picking up a bag of chips and almost cradling it like a child. “Thank you, Syl.”

Sylvain leaned up against the counter and watched as the other returned to his seat, physically unable to take his eyes off him. He moved such a way that it looked like he was floating; Sylvain was unsure if his steps were actually that small or if his mind was tricked by his presence. He walked around the counter and simply put his hands on his shoulders, mouth hanging open as he struggled for what he wanted to say.

“Syl?” Felix’s voice sounded hopeful, calmly happy in the quiet company of his best friend.

“Felix, I’m seriously about to cry again. I just. Can’t believe you’re here.”

Felix’s arms were around his neck in an instant, gripping Sylvain as though they’d both float away if they didn’t keep each other grounded. He laughed sheepishly against the other’s shoulder, resulting in the reciprocated hug becoming tighter.

“You were right, Syl. I already do not want to leave.”

The redhead chuckled, laying his head down on Felix’s shoulder. “That makes two of us, Fe.”

They curled up under a giant blanket on the couch with their hot cocoa, separated only because Mama jumped up and put her head on Felix’s lap. Sylvain narrowed his eyes at her when his friend’s were on the TV, jokingly scolding her for her seemingly intentional cock-blocking.

Felix’s laugh made Sylvain’s legs turn to jelly and his stomach warm and fuzzy. Hearing it for years through his speakers had attuned his brain to thinking it sounded a certain way, but it was oh so different in person.

Mama jumped down to stretch early on during the movie, making Sylvain send a silent prayer skyward. His eyes went wide when Felix scooted over before he could, his face warm when he parked himself immediately next to his hip.

“Do not judge me, Sylvain. I have wanted to be close with you all this time” Felix chuckled, all but snuggling up next to him. At first, Sylvain hardly dared to breathe, the desire to wrap the other up in his arms was just at his fingertips. As they sat there, however, he felt just how comfortable Felix felt beside him, feeling how he wasn’t holding back when their hands or arms brushed together, uncaring if he shifted and rubbed his leg up against Sylvain’s. In the middle of the movie, the redhead stretched his arm over his shoulders, realizing halfway through that this was the typical Hallmark scenario. Felix only smiled softly at him when his hand came to rest on his other side.

_Did he just lean into me? What the fuck. Is this real? Jesus Christ, that’s his hand on my leg. On. My. Leg. Mama, if you can read minds, now’s the time. Talk me through this. Help your dad. He needs it._

They watched the rest of the movie without any other wandering hands. Sylvain eventually calmed himself enough to revel in the closeness, not taking a moment of it for granted. Felix’s hand stayed in the same place on his leg, thumb moving absentmindedly in a circle.

“Our first movie night. I would call it a success,” Felix said sleepily with a smile, eyes finally starting to succumb to how tired he was. Sylvain nodded and kept his arm around his shoulder.

“I need to run Mama out, but I’ll get your bed set up for you before I do,” he offered softly, squeezing it quickly before standing up. Felix followed him, holding his hands together sheepishly. “There’s a bathroom in here; the sink is a little wonky so you can just come use mine if you need.

“Danke,” replied Felix, poorly stifling a yawn. “What time should I get up in the morning?”

“Sleep in, bud. You’re probably gonna be jet lagged to hell and back,” Sylvain chuckled, pulling down the comforter on the bed and throwing the fancy pillows to the ground. Felix nodded and crouched down to open his suitcase.

“Thank you, Sylvain. For everything. This has been one of the best days of my entire life,” Felix admitted happily, standing back up with his pajamas in hand. He set them on the bed and rounded it to hug his best friend earnestly, hiding his face in his chest as he hummed.

“Me too, Fe.” Sylvain’s hands went to Felix’s head to smooth his hair, making him tremble in embarrassment when he realized what he was doing. He kicked himself mentally when Felix jumped at the touch. “S-sorry, I don’t know what I—”

“Nein, nein, it is okay! I am a very soft man,” Felix said sheepishly, making Sylvain’s brain short circuit.

“L-let me know if you need anything, okay?” Sylvain’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Wake me up, slap me, anything.” Felix nodded and watched him walk out of the room. When he heard the front door close, he fell onto the bed with a small scream, fighting tears.

Two storms raged inside him: the larger one aching to plant himself in Sylvain’s bed and confess how he felt right then and there; the other was a manifestation of his insecurity yelling at him to wait or not do it at all. He couldn’t deny the longing he’d felt when Sylvain didn’t mind him scooting closer to him under the blanket, or their near constant touching since the airport. The other man never once shied away from his hands or hugs, and even seemed to be calmed and soothed by them. But the gremlin in Felix’s brain only convinced him it was nothing more than platonic, that Sylvain was just super friendly and didn’t mind being close because they were friends.

The dam eventually did break while he brushed his teeth, feeling like a fool for crying in the bathroom. He knew he was foolish for thinking there was _nothing_ there. If Sylvain were as aggressively heterosexual as he’d thought years prior, there’s no way in hell he’d have been _so comfortable_ holding Felix the way he’d held him throughout the night.

He submitted himself to sleeping alone, ignoring every single signal Sylvain had given him as his anxiety won out. He left his door open after turning off the lamp, sadly curling up under the covers on his usual side of the bed. He passed out nearly instantly, though, dead asleep by the time Sylvain and Mama came back inside. She padded up to him and sniffed his face, trotting back to the redhead with her tongue out the side of her mouth.

Sylvain had foolishly hoped to find Felix in his bathroom when he got back, and was going to make a joke that alluded to him wanting him to stay. He was thankful, though, that Felix felt comfortable enough to fall asleep so quickly, taking that as a win over how empty and lonely he felt as he shuffled into his own bed by himself.

Felix awoke not long after he fell asleep, a problem he had when he slept in unfamiliar places. He tossed and turned anxiously, wanting to go to Sylvain’s room and lie with him. He yearned to just be beside him, to feel his warmth, listen to his breathing. His arm erupted with goosebumps when he thought about waking up next to him, the same dream he’d been having consistently for the last three years. Now, trying his best to cast aside the fear that he’d be crossing a line, he was _able_ to.

With a series of short, quick breaths, he pulled the covers off himself and walked to the doorway, heart pumping fast in his chest. He blinked through the darkness of Sylvain’s apartment and felt his way to his bed, his skin feeling warm when he realized he slept on the opposite side he did. He studied him as best as he could in the dim light, desperately wanting to reach out and touch his face.

“…Syl?” He touched his arm softly and gently shook him.

The redhead slowly opened his eyes and stared at Felix, realization nearly instantly waking him up. He was glad it was dark, his entire body flushed crimson when he saw a sleepy Felix standing over him looking hopeful.

“Are you okay?” He asked, sitting up and leaning over to turn on the lamp on his nightstand.

Felix was quiet, nervously rubbing his forearms.

“Can… I sleep with you?”

Sylvain barely heard him. He thought he’d imagined the question, but when he saw how anxious his best friend looked, he knew he had heard properly.

“Of course.” He tried to hide his thrill when Felix lit up, watching him as he happily stepped over to the other side of the bed. He climbed up and got under the covers, looking at Sylvain with glassy eyes.

“I hope you do not think I am weird,” he said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. “I have a hard time sleeping in new places,” he said truthfully, finally looking his best friend in the eye.

“Well thankfully, I’m not new to you,” Sylvain replied gently.

Felix felt as though he’d be struck down for over-indulgence if he asked Sylvain to snuggle him, so he just rested his hand on his arm and smiled.

“Thank you… you’re the best thing I know, Sylvain.”

**

Felix once again stirred in his sleep, blinking his eyes until he saw Sylvain’s analog clock read 05:37. He went to stretch and nearly yelped in surprise when he turned to see Sylvain snuggled up against his back, arm curled up around his torso. He smiled happily and scooted closer against him, falling back asleep with no trouble at all.

They didn’t move once throughout the night, and Sylvain found himself tucked perfectly against Felix when he drifted into consciousness around ten. He didn’t dare breathe, but sheepishly squeezed his sleeping friend in a hug. He closed his eyes peacefully and enjoyed how he smelled— _god_ he smelled _amazing_ —wondering just how much better these interactions were going to get before he exploded.

Sylvain had been planning on getting up, but now he felt as though he’d have to arrest himself if he did. Who knew if he’d ever be awarded this opportunity again, so he just lie behind Felix, daydreaming and praying this could be his reality every single morning for the rest of his life.

The more he nuzzled into Felix’s back, the quicker he realized his mistake—what had started as innocent morning wood had turned into a full-fledged erection pressed up against his best friend’s ass.

Which, goddamn, he’d never mentioned. How dare he not tell Sylvain what a delicious ass he had?

Mama came into the room and jumped up onto the bed, waiting patiently for Sylvain to get up and feed her and take her outside.

Okay, _this_ was the reality he wanted.

He didn’t know how Felix would react if he woke up in his arms with his cock pressed up against him. The redhead physically had to remove himself from their cuddling, feeling as though he was a piece that’d been moved from a completed puzzle. He scribbled a note for Felix and left it on the pillow before throwing on clothes and taking Mama for their morning run.

_Good morning sleepy head! If you happen to get up before I’m back, Mama and I are out running. It shouldn’t take too long. There’s coffee in the pot, teabags in the little jar next to that, whatever you want is yours! Text me if you need anything : )  
<3 sylvain_

Felix missed him only by about an hour, blearily opening his eyes and feeling cold despite being under the covers. He pouted when he saw Sylvain gone, but felt the corners of his mouth turning upward when he rolled over and saw the note on the pillow. He read it a few times, squirming on the other’s bed happily. His hand fell over to Sylvain’s side of the bed, landing on the shirt he’d slept in. Felix absentmindedly pulled it to his nose and let the smell fill his nostrils, sighing into it and closing his eyes.

He groaned as he felt himself growing hard, embarrassed at how something simple like Sylvain’s sleep shirt could get him this excited. To be fair, he’d only been able to _imagine_ how the love of his life smelled for the past three years, so he was willing to cut himself some slack.

Felix writhed around for a moment, asking himself if he was truly, one hundred percent committed to doing what his groin was instructing him to do. Before he could try to reason with himself as to why it was probably the worst idea he’d ever had, his hand was wrapped around his dick and was tugging gently.

_I’m a sinner. Surely god will strike me down now so if Sylvain ever finds out I masturbated in his bed, I’ll be deceased so I won’t have to deal with the embarrassment._

He closed his eyes and remembered waking up in his arms, how nice and warm his skin was against his own. The redhead’s breathing against his back had lulled Felix into such a deep, peaceful sleep… He slipped his hand up under his shirt and tweaked his nipple, shuddering as he picked up the pace on his erection. Now that he knew what Sylvain’s apartment looked like better, he could move out of his bedroom in his fantasies and imagine his best friend fucking him on the couch or dining table.

Felix didn’t hear the front door unlocking as he hastily grabbed a tissue from the bedside, holding it near the head of his dripping cock. He breathed deeply into the pillow under his head, whimpering as he imagined Sylvain coming back from his run to greet him with deep, hungry make outs.

“S-Sylvain…” The redhead stopped dead outside his bedroom door, hand hovering over the doorknob. He leaned in and strained his ears, hand going up over his mouth at what he heard. He’d definitely heard his name, followed by what he definitely knew to be moaning. Panting. Hungry, desperate whining followed by a sensual uttering of his own name. His chest tightened and his brain felt like it was finally turning on.

Felix came harder than he’d ever come in his life, vision nearly blacking out in his eyes. He miraculously managed to catch his entire load in the tissue, his free hand’s nails desperately clutching at the sheets.

“Hahh—f-fuck… Ahhnn, Syl—” He managed to keep his voice down (not that it mattered with his muse standing directly outside the door), throwing his hand over his face in ecstasy as his legs shook. His heart jumped up into his throat when he heard Mama out in the apartment tapping around on the hardwoods, not realizing they’d returned. He swore and launched himself off the bed, dashing into the bathroom to get rid of the evidence.

Sylvain numbly stepped away from his bedroom door and tried to busy himself in the kitchen, having to stop himself from running in there and kissing Felix. He’d _never_ , in his entire friendship with him, knew he liked him that way. The ‘Liebling’ nickname had been too good to be true until now. What else could it be when it was his name and his name alone that Felix said out loud in the middle of something like _that_?

He kept his cool when Felix shuffled out of his room a few minutes later, his face flushed and extremely red. Sylvain couldn’t help but smile when he realized it was because of him.

“How’d you sleep, Fe?” he asked innocently, handing him a hot cup of tea. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Ja… Well,” Felix said, flustered. He managed a smile at his best friend though, taking the cup and bashfully looking down. “I… slept really well after joining you.”

“Glad I could help,” Sylvain said gently, smiling at him from across the counter. They both silently reveled in the domesticity of it all. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. You’re in a new place. Just remember I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

Sylvain pumped his dick with more emotion and lust than he ever had in his life as he showered, coating the tile wall with his cum. He managed to keep his voice down, something he wished he could lovingly tease Felix for at some point. He planned to _spoil_ him that day, every day for the rest of his trip if he was being honest. He hoped to work up the courage sooner rather than later to tell him how he felt.

He took him on a tour of the best spots in the city, walking closely with him under the massive fish tanks in the aquarium, driving them through the historic district and flexing what info he could remember from his attempted art history degree. Felix took it all in so excitedly, snapping photos of the most beautiful spots along the way.

“Sylvain, come take a selfie with me,” he asked at the docks on the harbor, motioning for him to join him. The redhead blushed when Felix unwrapped his scarf from around his neck and wound it around both of their faces, hiding their mouths under the soft black fabric. “It is so cold on this water!”

Felix held the phone up to snap the photo, jumping when Sylvain’s arm came down around his waist to pull him even closer, his other hand holding up a peace sign while he winked.

“Can you send me that one?” Sylvain asked with a grin, peering down at the resulting picture. Felix nodded happily and sent it over. He bounced in excitement as his best friend set it as his profile image, following suit. “That one’s gonna stay until I die,” he chuckled, posting it with snowman and heart emojis. “It’s almost dinner time... Did you want to go back to the apartment and try my world-renowned cuisine? Or do you want to go hog-wild and eat gas station food to really test our bodies and their limits?”

“I want to go home and snuggle with Mama in the warmth. And I want you to cook for me,” Felix smiled, fingering the edges of the scarf that was still wrapped around both of them.

“Mama will definitely keep you warm. I had fun showing you around today, Felix.”

Sylvain smiled as he removed the scarf from around him and readjusted it around the other, brushing his hair behind his ears as he tucked the ends underneath.

Felix felt his ears going red, doing his best not to nuzzle into the other’s hands. He made a small sound of approval at the warmth and action, eyes creasing as he smiled underneath all the fabric. A muffled ‘danke’ could be heard, making Sylvain chuckle. As they walked back to the car, Sylvain wrapped his arm around Felix’s shoulders and rubbed it to warm him up.

Back at the apartment, Felix sat cuddled up on the couch with Mama, watching Sylvain cook in the kitchen while he sipped on a glass of whiskey. It burned his eyes, throat, and chest, but he figured that might also have something to do with the fact that his friend was cooking shirtless. Classic Sylvain.

“If you burn yourself, I cannot promise I will come and kiss it,” Felix teased.

“Ah, well shit. There goes my plan to slather myself in this boiling water…”

Mama sighed on Felix’s lap, as if she were fed up with the flirting alongside their stubborn lack of action.

He stood up and moseyed over to the kitchen counter, smiling at his best friend softly while he grilled their dinner in a special pan. “I cannot wait to try this. I have to see if the “world-renowned” Gautier cuisine is as good as you have made me believe.”

“If you didn’t want to leave before, you definitely won’t after tonight,” Sylvain winked. “My close friend Dedue taught my dumb, rich boy ass how to cook. So you’ll have to thank him when you meet him!”

“He is Dimitri’s… boyfriend, ja?”

“Soon to be fiancé, but yes.” Felix’s stomach fluttered as Sylvain’s expression softened, a pure, loving smile on his face.

“And Dimitri has been your friend since childhood. That is very exciting for them!”

“You’re telling me, Fe! I’ve watched that relationship from the beginning. I’ve seen Dedue help Dimitri through everything. I’ve never seen a pair of people more in love than them. Well, not unless—” Sylvain stopped himself short and cleared his throat, ‘unless I think about you’ teetering on his lips. “I can’t wait for Dedue to propose.”

“When can I meet them?” Felix asked happily, aching to meet the people he’d seen in Sylvain’s pictures the last seven years.

“Tomorrow, if you want! A friend of ours is holding a little Christmas party. I wasn’t going to go since… you’re here. But if you want to meet my squad, they’ll all be attending.”

Felix nodded excitedly and tapped his hands on the counter. “I want to meet Sylvain’s friends!” _The people who were there for you when I could not be_ , he said sadly in his head as an afterthought. “Do you think they will be liking me?”

“Pssshh, you might as well already be part of the crew, Fe,” Sylvain grinned, taking the grill pan off the stove and setting it on another burner. “Everyone has been hearing about you for years. They might be a little more excited to meet you than you are them.” Felix came unglued at this, spinning around in a circle as he made his way over to Sylvain. He helped him serve their dinner and refilled their drinks, secretly downing his and repeating the process before he sat down.

“Sylvain,” Felix said from across the dinner table, “I noticed you have lots of Christmas decorations up! But no tree? Why is this?”

Sylvain covered his mouth and blushed. “I wanted to do it with you… Our first Christmas together in person and not on Discord,” the redhead laughed, poking at his food and looking at Felix sheepishly.

“Syl—that’s—so sweet,” said Felix earnestly, “I would love to do that!”

“Well, you’re in luck! Because soon, the Amazon guy is going to be showing up with one. I don’t buy real ones. Mama would pee on it,” he chuckled, checking his phone. They took their time finishing their dinner, quickly putting away the bottle of whiskey that’d been started earlier in the evening.

Felix and Sylvain both stumbled to the front door when the doorbell was rung, giggling at the delivery driver and slurring varied forms of well holiday wishes. Sylvain, despite having drunk at least three more glasses than Felix, managed to pull the large box inside his apartment and into the living room.

“Gotta show the bitches that walk by on the street just how much holly jolly Christmas cheer we have, F-Fe,” making Felix’s groin twitch when he spread his stance before moving the couch away from the patio door.

“Syl, b-be careful,” Felix chuckled, going behind him and throwing his hands onto the armrest. They ended up flying around his best friend’s waist as he gave it another yank, making them both dissolve into a fit of laughter.

“Hold me like that again. I liked it,” Sylvain winked, moving Felix’s hands back when he jerked them away in embarrassment.

“You are a fool,” Felix replied, securing his hands around him regardless.

Sylvain turned on cheerful holiday music to listen to while they worked. They managed to stay connected until it came time to lock the top part of the tree in place, Sylvain swearing at it as though it were sentient. He wobbled and nearly brought Felix to the ground, but his best friend kept him up with a small grunt.

“Nein, nein. I want to do this part.” Felix let go and took the piece from the redhead, slamming it down onto the middle pole before connecting the pre-lit string of lights. He fell back against the other as they regarded their handiwork, the LED lights twinkling in different colors amongst the plastic branches.

“Now it’s Christmas,” he heard Sylvain mumble. A soft piano instrumental started playing on his surround-sound, making the redhead painfully sheepish at the mood that had been set. His fuzzy brain directed his arms to wrap around Felix, holding him directly against his warm frame with his hands tucked under his arms. “Have I mentioned how glad I am that you’re here…?”

Felix fell back into the embrace happily, nodding while he fought the tears that welled up in his eyes. “We could not have picked a better time to finally be meeting,” he agreed, letting his head fall onto Sylvain’s chest while he closed his eyes.

What came next just felt right: Sylvain slowly tuned Felix around and resumed his embrace, but was now holding his hands as he began to sway to the music. Felix happily buried his face in his chest, heart ablaze at his luck. All they had right now was each other, dancing slowly in Sylvain’s living room. He rested his laced fingers at the base of his spine, resisting the urge to rub them in little circles above his clothes. This was the single most tender moment they’d ever shared, more tender than the nights spent comforting each other in the past.

“Seeing you, being able to touch you… it’s all been the best thing to ever happen to me.” The words escaped out of Sylvain’s mouth before he could shove them back down into his conscious. His heart accelerated when he heard Felix sniffling.

“You have no idea how much you mean to me, mein Liebling.”

It sobered Sylvain, realizing by the time the song ended what he’d done. He couldn’t bear to pull away, however, not when Felix was smiling against him in such happiness. They stayed embracing one another in the soft glow of the Christmas tree in a comfortable silence, further fanning the longing fires burning in both of them.

**

Sylvain and Felix once again woke up in each other’s arms the next morning, this time Felix pressed closely up against the redhead’s chest. He squirmed when he remembered their dancing, the pounding hangover headache he had absolutely worth it. They’d barely spoken since and had quietly coexisted for the rest of the evening. Sylvain had played with Felix’s hair while he watched him play a video game, fingers absentmindedly braiding it just to untie and do it all over. Felix had softly recommended they go to bed around three a.m., not wanting Sylvain’s back to hurt like he knew it would if they slept on the couch.

Felix nuzzled his face into his best friend’s chest, leg inadvertently swinging up over his hip. He realized he was hard when he did this, but the real shock came when he noticed Sylvain was as well. Felix’s mind and fingers went numb, trying _desperately_ to ignore just how well endowed he was. He’d already committed sin in this bed once before; he couldn’t rightly do it while the other tried to sleep peacefully beside him. Instead he let his mind wander in a saucy daydream, which let him relax alongside the man he loved.

He anxiously watched as Sylvain stirred awake a while later, doubtful he’d be upset by their current position. Still nervous all the same because of who he was as a person, Felix brought down his leg from his hip and nestled it gently down against the other.

“Mmmm, mornin’ F-Fe,” Sylvain yawned, stretching his arms out just to bring them back down around Felix’s back. As he opened his eyes he smiled before he winced, bring one hand up to press in between his eyes. “Fuck, that whiskey beat my ass…”

“You have to recoup, Syl, we have a party tonight,” Felix teased with a smile, blushing as he reached up to gently rub his temples.

“Mmmm…” Sylvain submitted to the touch, closing his eyes and resting his head back down on the pillow.

“Do you want me to go out and walk Mama?” Felix asked, willing to help despite his own headache pounding in his head.

“Nnn, you can come with us,” Sylvain said, eyes still closed as he grinned. He let Felix rub his head for a few minutes until they heard Mama whining near the front door. “Let’s go take the Queen out, I’ll show you the neighborhood!”

They threw on clothes and grabbed Gatorades out of the fridge. Sylvain laughed as he handed Felix a pair of sunglasses to slip on, his groin twitching at his best friend’s getup. He was dressed head-to-toe in Adidas, a matching two piece black tracksuit over all white sneakers. Coupled with the sunglasses, he looked as though he needed to be on an advertisement on the side of a building.

They winced out in the sunlight, but happily trailed behind Mama as she led them on their walk. It was early afternoon on Sunday, so there were lots of families out and about. Mama happily greeted every dog and child she met, tail wagging wildly and her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth.

“You need to be getting her a friend, Syl,” Felix said with a happy smile, offering to hold her leash. Sylvain handed it over and gave a shrug.

“Honestly? I kind of like spoiling her as an only child. I had no idea I’d find my baby at a shelter, tiny and shaking with no fur,” Sylvain chuckled, eyeing his pup lovingly.

“You saved her,” Felix agreed, stopping at the crosswalk. He squatted down and kissed her, chuckling happily when she licked all over his face and sunglasses.

“It was all thanks to you, Felix!” the redhead reminisced, leaning against the pole after pushing the crossing button. “I would have shelled out thousands of dollars if it weren’t for you and never would have found her.”

“She is very special to me for that same reason.”

“Our sweet Mama…”

Felix’s eyes darted to the side at the comment, but his body betrayed him by walking closer to Sylvain, their hips practically touching. As they crossed the street Sylvain slowed, looking around and grinning down at Felix.

“Dedue and Dimitri actually live like… right over that way,” he said, pointing down the street to their left. “Would you wanna meet them before the party?”

“Ja, of course!” Felix said excitedly, watching Sylvain pull out his phone. He called Dimitri and checked to make sure they were home (and decent, he added with a smirk) before they rolled over.

“Hey Dimitri! So… I’m walking Mama and we’re right by your house. Do you mind if we stop by? Yeah, he’s with me,” he said, sticking his tongue out at Felix. “Oh shit, and Dedue is baking? Goddamn. We’re on our way.” He hung up the phone and pocketed it. “Let’s go. Oh, god, Felix… You’re going to get to eat Dedue’s cooking. Honestly, this trip across the world was worth it for that alone.”

Mama pulled Felix and Sylvain all the way to Dimitri and Dedue’s house, excitedly running up their front steps and barking. Who needs a doorbell?

“Sylvain! Oh my god, is this Felix?! Dedue! Come here!” Felix was a ball of nerves as the tall blonde man answered the door. His mouth dropped open when he saw how tall Dedue was. They were both extremely handsome, but also very sweet. “Can I hug you, Felix? I feel like I’ve known you forever,” Dimitri said with a smile.

Sylvain’s chest tightened when his two best friends embraced, blinking his eyes furiously so he didn’t blubber like a baby. Dedue noticed and winked at him, making his stomach flip over and over in his abdomen.

“Come inside, come inside, it’s freezing! You bring Mama inside so she can warm her little feet, Sylvain,” Dimitri said, putting his hand on Felix’s shoulder and guiding him inside their house. “Felix, can I get you something to drink?”

“Water, danke…” Felix was nervous. Sylvain squeezed his hand reassuringly as they walked inside while Dedue and Dimitri led them into the living room.

“Fe, you met Dimitri. I forgot to mention he’s a hugger,” Sylvain chuckled as Dimitri shot him a scowl from the fridge. This is his boyfriend, Dedue, or the softest giant you’ll ever meet.”

“Pleased to meet you, Felix. It’s nice to finally meet you after all these years.” Felix could have melted into the ground at Dedue’s smile. He shook his giant hand and nodded, face blushing from their kindness.

When he walked into their living room and noticed Sylvain’s childhood pictures on the wall, he beamed at his best friend and crept over to gaze at them. He’d always been adorable, which Felix could have gathered even before meeting him in person, but seeing him when he was small made Felix happier than he could put into words.

“Mein Liebling… you were so small! And so happy!” When Felix’s back was turned away, Dedue looked over at Felix and raised his eyebrow. Sylvain flushed and cleared his throat, darting his eyes away as he finally unhooked Mama from her harness.

“I’m hoping these stunning looks will last until I’m old,” he laughed. “Dima told me you were making cinnamon rolls, Dedue?”

“I am. They’re just about done,” Dedue replied, still looking knowingly between Sylvain and Felix.

They reminisced over Dedue’s cooking, Felix learning things about his best friend he knew the redhead would never tell him firsthand. He noticed Dimitri not mentioning his brother, Miklan, unless it was absolutely essential to the story, and even then it was brief. He knew a short version of that story, but didn’t want to pry in case it made Sylvain upset.

“Well, we need to get home to get ready for that party…” Sylvain said hours later, looking around at the state they’d all fallen to: Dedue and Dimitri were relaxing with their hands held on the loveseat, he and Felix found themselves once again huddled under an oversized blanket, and Mama was on her back in front of the fireplace.

“Oh yes! Heavens, I’d nearly forgotten,” Dimitri laughed, standing up to walk them out. “You two get home safe. Felix, it was our pleasure to have you. We’re very thankful for you being Sylvain’s friend all these years.” Felix blushed but nodded happily, surprising him with a quick embrace.

“They love you,” Sylvain said with a small laugh as they set out for his apartment. Felix covered his face sheepishly and wiggled excitedly.

“I love them, too… Your closest friends… And they are such a beautiful couple,” Felix said sweetly, a bounce coming into his step. Sylvain snuck an aching glance down at his best friend, the flames in his body begging him to confess how much he wished they were like them.

Back at the apartment, they parted ways to shower in separate bathrooms. Neither knew that they thought of each other while they rubbed out the growing tension between them, neither knew it was his name on his lips as they touched and caressed their dripping bodies. Both men sunk down to the floor of the tubs, hearts beating quickly in their chests merely picturing the other’s face. Both men didn’t know how much longer they could hide their feelings. Every holding of their hands, each lingered gaze and loving word spoke between them only made it harder.

Felix dried himself off and dressed in the bathroom, putting on one of the better outfits he’d brought. He pulled a sleeveless black turtleneck top over his chest, tucking it into the rust colored jeans he had tucked into his black boots. He unashamedly patted a little concealer on the bags under his eyes and regarded himself in the mirror of Sylvain’s guest room, checking himself out from every angle. As he battled on whether or not to keep his hair up or down, Sylvain knocked on the door.

“Come in,” he replied softly, slipping a hair tie on his wrist just in case.

“Wow, Fe, you look great! You were right, I hated on the turtlenecks prematurely,” Sylvain laughed, slowly coming in the room. Felix about fainted at his outfit. He wore a silk teal shirt with a collar, the top open slightly with gold buttons going down the fold. His pants were thoroughly detailed with gold and gray floral designs. He looked like he stepped directly out of a fashion magazine.

“You are one to talk, Syl! I am looking terrible beside you…” Felix said with a laugh, blushing when Sylvain crossed the room to stand beside him in the mirror.

“Nah. We’re both hot,” Sylvain winked, pulling out his phone and putting an arm around Felix’s waist. He snapped a candid photo of them and chuckled warmly. “Smile, Fe.” Felix forced himself to smile softly, turning his body towards Sylvain’s and posing.

“Ja. You’re right!” Felix reached for his own phone and held it above them to take a selfie, throwing up his trademark peace sign and smiling. After he snapped the first picture, Sylvain surprised him by moving behind him and wrapping him up in a bear hug, squeezing him tightly with a big smile on his face.

Felix’s heart didn’t settle down until they got to the party. He only had a few minutes of reprieve, too, because it started beating furiously again as he met people Sylvain had been telling him about for years. Two women, Mercedes and Annette, hugged him just like Dimitri had, as if he’d been part of their group forever. A sweet man named Ashe, who seemed just as bashful as Felix was, impressed him with an attempted conversation in German.

“There seems to be a lot of people here we don’t know,” Sylvain remarked to Mercedes, who nodded with a smile. “It would appear our host had friends bring extra plus ones,” she said, eyeing a few people with an expression Felix was unable to read.

The group stayed together, moving into the living room to partake in the party card games people were playing. Sylvain had mixed them all incredible cocktails, letting everyone unwind and enjoy each other’s company. Felix finished his quickly, trying to fight off the thoughts from earlier that still fought in his mind. He saw other couples around the party standing close, arms wrapped around one another, sneaking kisses under mistletoe that had been attached to the ceiling in every room. He didn’t want to embarrass Sylvain, though, didn’t want to make a move on him in front of people he barely knew.

Sylvain noticed Felix was quiet. He stood up and held out his hand for Felix to take, smiling reassuringly at him. Felix took it with anxious thanks, feeling like shit for his nerves getting the better of him.

“What’s up, Fe?” Sylvain asked softly, pulling them into a bedroom and locking the door. He crossed the space to pull Felix into a comforting hug, rubbing his back.

“Sylvain, I am sorry, I do not want to take you away from the party or your friends—”

“Fe, you’re way more important than any of that. We can leave right now if you want. They’ll understand,” he mumbled into his ear.

“Nein… No, I _want_ to be with your friends. I… like them a lot! I do not know what is wrong; I am not afraid. They are nice to me and I am having a good time. I just…” He looked up into Sylvain’s beautiful honey colored eyes, goosebumps popping up on his arms at how close he was.

“Felix…”

There was a knock at the door just as their faces closed in on each other.

“Come on, let us go. Make me another drink, I am sure that will help me loosen up,” Felix said quickly, grabbing Sylvain’s hand and pulling him out of the room. He wanted to cry; it would have been the perfect opportunity to tell him why he was acting the way he was…

Sylvain followed him to the kitchen and mixed him another drink, worriedly looking at him out of the corner of his eye as he did. “You sure you’re okay, Fe?”

“Ja, ja. Thank you, mein Liebling. Just being with you is all I want.” Felix took the drink and hugged his best friend tightly, standing up on his toes and kissing his cheek. “You really are my best friend, Sylvain.”

Two drinks later, Felix had both arms wrapped around the redhead as they danced with his friends, furniture in the living room pushed against the walls for more room. He was still only tipsy, but it was all he needed to calm down and not let his anxiety about his feelings control him. He only halfheartedly toned down his flirting, because Sylvain was touching and grinding up on him just as much as he was.

“Fe… Will you be ok while I run to the restroom?” Sylvain chuckled, hands shoved into Felix’s back pockets while his head nuzzled into his neck.

“Ja, go on,” Felix replied, teeth gently dragging along Sylvain’s jaw as he gazed up into his eyes. Sylvain’s eyes were half-lidded as he pulled himself away, kissing Felix’s hands before disappearing into the crowd.

Felix stayed close to Ashe, Annette, and Mercedes, smiling as they pulled him closer to dance with them. When he felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned around happily, expecting to see Sylvain. But it was a guy he didn’t know, someone he’d only seen briefly at the beginning of the party. He looked at him oddly, stumbling only from being caught off guard. The guy winked at him and smirked, taking that as an unspoken invitation to put his hands on Felix’s shoulders.

“Hey, beautiful… I was wondering if you’d like to dance now that other guy’s gone,” he muttered into his ear, shocking Felix with how quickly he moved into his personal space.

“N-no. Lass mich alleine…”

“Oh, du sprichst deutsch? Ich auch…” the guy said with a smirk, pressing his groin up against Felix’s. Felix’s face grew hot with anger, trying to jerk his hands away so he could deck this asshole in the mouth.

“Geh von mir runter. Jetzt.” The guy let go but didn’t move far, moving his hands up to Felix’s shirt to tug on the collar.

“No need to be so aggressive, love,” the stranger winked, trailing his fingers down the front of Felix’s torso. Felix raised his arm to slap him away, accidentally bumping into Ashe.

“Felix, are you okay?” Ashe asked, just now noticing Felix’s unexpected visitor. “Who are you?” he asked the man, cocking his eyebrow at him.

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Felix and Ashe’s head snapped over to Sylvain, who was wearing one of the darkest, most foreboding faces either of them had seen in their lives. “I don’t know you dude, but if I see you touching Felix again, I will not hesitate in breaking your goddamn neck. He’s _mine_. Back. The fuck off.”

“Hmm, if he’s _yours_ you better keep a better eye on him then.”

“The fuck?” Sylvain stepped closer to the asshole, teeth and hands clenched tightly.

“Erik, goddamn it. Stop.” An acquaintance of Sylvain’s came up, pulling the stranger away before the redhead started to beat his ass. “He’s drunk, Sylvain, I’m so sorry—”

“Get him the fuck out of here before I do,” Sylvain growled, hand going around Felix’s waist. He did it for the sake of calming himself down, but also to make it pretty clear to this dipshit who he was here with. As his acquaintance pulled the guy away, he pulled Felix to his chest and cupped his face in his hands. “Are you okay? He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” He said, forcing himself to calm down. Felix shook his head furiously, grabbing the front of Sylvain’s shirt.

“Let’s go cool down outside,” Felix said quickly, feeling his best friend’s arms shaking in anger. He held his hand as he led them to the back door in the kitchen, thankful that nobody else was out there. “Syl, I am okay, I promise—”

Sylvain resumed his tight embrace, breathing deeply into Felix’s hair, fighting tears. “Felix, if something had _happened_ to you—I’d _never_ forgive myself. I’d go to prison for _killing_ whoever hurt you.” The redhead trembled in Felix’s arms, crying in frustration for feeling so vulnerable despite the fact Felix had been targeted.

“Sylvain—” Felix gently guided his face towards his own, heart hammering in his chest. He didn’t breathe— _couldn’t_ breathe—as he slid his fingers into the other’s hair and stood up on his toes to kiss him. He sobbed into it, feeling as though his entire life had led to this moment. Felix achingly gripped his best friend, the world stopping around him when he finally felt his lips kissing him back. He shuddered when he felt Sylvain’s tears on his face, coaxing even more out of his eyes.

“I… love you. Very, _very_ much, Felix—” Sylvain achingly gripped the other’s face and tried to blink through his tears. “I’ve wanted to be by your side for three years. You mean _everything_ to me—having to say goodnight to you rips a fucking hole in my chest every time I have to do it—"

“I love you too, Sylvain. I have for a long time.” They held each other close out in the cold, warmed by each other’s arms and the racing of their hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @setethstiddies, hope you enjoyed <3

**Author's Note:**

> THEY'RE IN LOVE, HAROLD! THEY'RE GAY AND THEY'RE IN LOVE.  
> Follow Echo and I on Twitter: @setethstiddies and @15x210! We hope you enjoyed and love this AU as much as we do.... we. are obsessed LOL.


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